; Dreams

Just your basic dream journal. I will attempt to record all of my dreams here, no matter how mundane or humiliating they may be.
Keep in mind, I wake up and crawl to the computer and write these before coffee, tea or anything so yeah, they're a mess. Enjoy.

My Photo
Location: Sacramento, California, United States

Sea Monkey devotee since childhood.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Freeway, time travel, jerking off

I'm running on the freeway. There are cars but they're going pretty slow and they don't seem to find it weird that I'm running. We're all swerving to avoid puddles of oil. A beautiful white VW Camperbus passes me. I love it. I get to where I'm going, it's a gig where I'm performing. Joe's band is also performing. I'm wearing a dress. It's an ugly dress, not one I'd choose in real life. I put out my fist and all the members of the band touch fists with me and I say "What do we do" and they all say "KILL" and then they go up and start playing and I got futs with my dress in the mirrors.

I'm hanging out with a woman in her twenties and we're travelling backward in time and I tell her I can only have sex with her when we're back in time, not in the present. We're making out, in the present. She says no to sex so I go in the bathroom and jerk off. My cum is a blue gel, and abundant, just oozing out all over the place.

A woman in a tight white sweater puts her breasts so that their touching my nose, she's standing and I'm sitting. We're at a cafe I think. She asks if I want to go out sometime. I know she doesn't mean platonic-ally because, well, she's pushing her breasts in my face. I say okay, and I go into Target and find a private spot to jerk off. An employing is walking toward me so I stop. I walk through the store hoping they don't do anything. I help a few teenagers find things, hoping my helpfulness will encourage them to leave me be. They leave me be.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Max dangerously out of my control

I've had two dreams in the last week both obviously about my daughter being in danger and me not being able to help because she isn't listening to me.
In the first we're on a rickety, cartoonish roller coaster. It has not safety bars to keep you in. Max is standing up on her seat as we crest a hill and I'm desperately yelling for her to sit down. She won't listen. We go over the hill and she is out of the car, I grab her and am struggling to hold on to her while keeping myself in the cart.

In the second dream we're hiking, I think at camp, and I'm calling to Max that she's getting to far ahead. She is ignoring me, and suddenly there is a big cat, like a mountain lion, in front of her. I hiss at it, and pick up some rock to throw at it. It's closer to Max than I am. Then there's several big cats, including a black panther which starts chasing Max, and I'm chasing it. Somehow it doesn't catch her. I wake up after catching up with her myself.

Monday, October 12, 2015

I'm in a small rural town in the middle of festivities. They have a miniature or baby cow and they're trying to milk it but the cow is scared and trying to get away, and I'm getting upset because it keeps getting worse for the cow. Then a big man takes a weight with a handle attached, and hits the cow on the head hard enough to kill it. I take a black jack and go hit the guy, maybe mutliple times, I think my brain hit rewind and then redid this scene a few different ways which is a thing my brain does  sometimes in dreams. I was arrested and and taken to jail. When I get out, I'm at a small house on the main street and the guy is there but now he seems younger and he's very handsome and he explains his side. And I say, "You've been kind to me. Thanks." and I leave.

Thursday, October 08, 2015

Matt McCord was getting me ready to play on stage with him. We had a big audience and the music kicked in, and Matt, who is a bass player in the this dream, is telling, "Just hit G, then C" or something like that and I had no idea how to follow these instructions and the crowd is starting to notice that I am not playing actual music on the guitar.

Staying at a hotel, couldn't go in the pool unless I was manscaped by a person on staff. Went to my room and awaited the manscaper. Several people were going to stick around for the manscaping, including one woman who said she was curious about it. I said sure. I lay down and a person came in with a big rusted metal sheering device. Also gave my face a shave with a razor and some kind of shaving solution. I noticed my face wasn't very close or clean shaven.

Sending my daughter into another room to hang out with my mom so I can fondle and talk dirty to me wife. I realize my phone had butt dialed my mom and I'm worried that she heard the filthy things I was saying.

Thursday, October 01, 2015

Comedian dreams

Dreamed I got an awesome blue suit to film my next special in and then got my nails painted a matching blue, and it looked really cool.

Also dreamed I went to visit Dan Murphy in Denver. Don doesn't live in Denver, but he did in my dream and right when I got there I remembered that I had a weekend of shows in Sacramento and that I needed to come home right away. Dan was trying to get his baby to go to sleep.

 And the night before last I dreamed that Hasan Minhaj invited me to work on a project with him but he didn't look like Hasan. He had his hair combed straight down over his forehead and thick glasses. I asked him about this and he said, "Yeah, it's my new look."

Friday, February 08, 2013

I have a friend who I've been friends with since she was a kid. Shes not a kid now. She is an adult now and a quite attractive one. But once you've known someone in a kid/adult friendship its hard to ever think of them as adults, even when they're in their twenties.
Had a dream that she was giving me a blow job on a roof. She was intentionally giving me a bad blowjob because she was impersonating the way she thought some celebrity she didn't like would give a blowjob.
Weird dream. Didn't even wake up horny.

Dreamt I was visiting Steve and Anon, who are no longer even a couple in real life. They lived in a pretty place, a place where I actually stopped in my tracks to try to commit to memory just how pretty it was, cinematic even.
They walked me to a hillside that was gorgeous and I got in a small globe that ran quickly and roller coaster like along a flimsy wooden track. I enjoyed it with the knowledge that there was a back up cable to keep me safe if the track failed. Wanted to share with my daughter. Wanted to live in the pretty place and never leave

Monday, October 01, 2012

Sex, drugs and comedy

Last week:
Coworker, egged on by sister who is also a corworker, teasing me about being attracted to her, then sitting on my lap, letting me cop a feel, kissing me. Quite an enjoyable dream.

Last night:
Road trip with a bunch of guys, at least one of whom was another comic, Eric Cash. Eric and I go into some middle of the nowhere little shop, one of those interstate roadside convenience stores. It was dark and crowded and claustrophobic. The owners dog was biting the tips of my fingers, not vicious big bitest just persistent, chewing bites on the tips of my fingers. Couldn't get it to stop. Went outside. Dog was getting more aggressive. I choke the dog unconcious. Eric thinks I overreacted.
Then we're all crashing in some dingy gross room for the night. Not sure if its a hotel room or a room in someone's house. We wake up and I reallize slept in way late, then I realize we slept in two and a half days late!
Then we're driving a dirty road. A diesel is ahead of us, but is backwards driving down the road in reverse going really fast. I comment on what an amazing driver the guy is.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Rehearsing the scene

Gorgeous local actress, I have a scene that I need to rehears with her involving bedroom talk, a kiss and simulated sex and I'm pretty sure that rehearsing it will lead to us actually having sex. I may have written it, not sure.
As in many of my dreams I live in a portion of an impossibly big and complicated house that feels like it is haunted. We arrange to meet in my room to rehearse. A male comic drives me there. I tell him about the rehearsal and he feels that I have an erection with his hand. Oddly plutonic, like we're talking about cars or something. "Oh yeah, thats an erection alright."
I get to room and the actress is there as is my wife, though I'm not sure she is my wife in the dream, we don't live together and I'm not sure our relationship. She won't leave though so that the rehearsal can happen which is very frustrating. I wake up.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Lots of sex dreams

In my waking life, I know a very attractive girl who flirts with me quite a bit. I dreamt that she asked me to spend the night with her. I told her I'd have to ask my wife. I was then super stressed out that I had to ask my wife if I could have sex with this girl. I was trying to think of ways to just get a general pass so I wouldn't have to mention who it was I wanted to have sex with. When I woke up I was still stressed. I slowly realized it was just a dream. I remembered that the woman in question had a boyfriend now and hadn't even been flirty with me lately. I was very relieved to realize I didn't have to have sex with, as if I would have to if she asked, as if the prime directive would not have allowed me to say not to sex if offered by an attractive female.

Dreamt I was fucking Mila Kunis or someone a-lot like Mila Kunis. Wife came in, smiled and watched for a minute. Weird thing is, I'm not even all that hot for Mila Kunis.

I lived with a pixie-ish girl in a crazy big house. I couldn't even fathom the whole house at once it was so big. We fucked on a bed that felt like the box spring and mattress were too thick, stacked to high and before we finished the whole thing toppled and we fucked on the floor.
I was aware some guy had been walking in our backyard. I didn't know if he lived in the house too, because it was so big that I wasn't sure if it housed more than one flat. I didn't like that their was a door going to into our house that was mostly glass and in a hallway so anyone breaking in through it could do so privately so I went to lock the door that led into the hallway from the backyard. The guy I'd seen earlier was now in our basement, where the hallway apparently led. I told him I was locking up, hoping he'd leave peacefully. When he didn't I worried I'd end up in a fight. Then my girlfriend came down and the guy looked up and said "You guys just hanging out?" I said "No thats my sweetheart." and then worried that because she was somewhat androgynous I'd now have homophobia to deal with. I woke up, stressed.

I ended up back in the same house when I fell asleep but girfriend was gone. I was moving into the house with my wife and my mom was helping. No daughter. I was showing my wife how big the house was, "Hey honey, its four stories!" "No, its only three!" No, I just found another floor with two rooms! One room was mostly finished but one wall was just dry wall and unfinished. The other room is full of bottles and smells so strongly of chemicals that I feel dizzy just looking inside it. A cat runs into the room. I go in to get cat out and discover a bunch of kittens. Wife and I are amused and frustrated, now we have a bunch of kittens to deal with on top of moving?  Shift to wife giving me a blow job that finishes with a hand job and a Marilyn Monroe impersonation that I'm embarrassed to admit totally does it for me.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

She's My Max

Dreamt that we had Max only in some sort of fostering capacity. It wasn't clear if she was our biological child or not but we'd raised her and now two couples were coming to meet her to potentially adopt her. One couple was everything I'm not, they were wealthy and neatly dressed and seemed very clear headed and alert, focused. I thought they'd be good parents to Max and they clearly wanted to adopt her but then I broke down and crying I said, "No! She's My Max! I want to keep her with us." They told me that was okay. I could see they were disappointed. Bryna came and hugged me and I kept crying saying "She's my Max, she's my Max."

I was at Burning Man or something like it sitting in a circle. Somebody pulled my head backwards and tried to shove white power into my nose. I shook them off but it was made clear to me that this is acceptable etiquette among friends where peyote is concerned. I thought it strange that peyote would be in the form of a white powder but my friends all started doing it messily which again was apparently the etiquette. The guy who had pulled my head back had long black hair and long eyebrows, so long they were combed to each side and merged with his hair. He was full of himself and obscene in the way of really shallow people who dedicate themselves to completely embracing a certain hip culture at the expense of any personality they may have once had. I disliked him strongly.
He got up and approached a little person who looked like a child in dress and size but she had a worn face of someone whose led a hard life. I heard he say something to him about about a good tip and then she started to give him oral sex. There were kids around they were watching and I became almost panicky in rage and concern. I didn't know what to do, how to respond, weather to protect them or assail him. I woke up disturbed.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Almost sex and more almost sex

In the first dream I'm working for Spike and Mike still, I think. I say something about "Oh right, because I'm gay" in reference to someone implying that I'm gay and a stranger in front of me misunderstands and thinks I'm being homophobic I try to explain and somehow end up at a mean girls apartment where I feel older and clumsier and less hip than everyone else but I stay there for a couple of nights anyway. I end up lying on the ground making out with a thin girl and we're getting really hot and heavy, grinding away. She tells me not to drink anymore whine that the rest of the clique in the apartment have been messing with me after I pass out the past few nights. I wake up.

The next day I read a review of a friend's film where the reviewer goes on an on about how amazing another friend of mine is in the film. That night I dream that I'm at filmmaker friend's party and the friend who got the great review is there and we're slow dancing, she in a long, sleek silver dress. I whisper in her ear that I'd love to take her out and "wine and dine" her. I'm so turned on that I go to filmmaker friend's bathroom to masturbate. I observer her really cool toilet seat  and toilet seat cover, both hand carved hand painted wood monsters. I jerk off think about the friend in sleek dress and how good her body fest against mine and how nice it felt to whisper in her ear. Whatever I'm using as lube keeps failing me and I can't quite get to where I'm going. I wake up...

Last night I dreamt I was successful as a comic and somewhat famous. The details are blurry but I remember I was tired and stressed.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Worst Dream Ever

Horrible, horrible, maybe worse dream ever. My little girl was dead, my wife flipped out so she went next door and killed her sister and her sister's baby with knife. But then the dream shifted and sister was okay but both babies were still dead. I was apologizing to sister and her husband. Sorry my wife killed your kid. She was really distressed over our kid dying. I thought about all the times that we had talked about people who've lost a child and it occured to me that we were now those people.
We lived in a nice house, everything was lit like a glossy commercial for a cleaning product and we were all dressed in catalog clothing and we all had hair product. very strange.

The next night I dreamed about being back at Bridgetown performing. I kept performing right after a guy with big curly hair and we were enjoying working together. I was ridiculously relaxed, like sloppy relaxed. I'd go onstage with no set list and just start talking and it went okay but I kept feeling like it could have been better. I was too caught up in lounging and snacking and breathing deep to be bothered to do the work to make it better though.

Last night I dreamed that I was going to have sex with some skinny girl who wasn't particularly attractive but she had an appealing personality and I knew it was a dream and kept talking myself out of feeling guilty, saying it's a dream, you're allowed do what you want. Then I met a prostitute who said it would be $20 and I'd have to rent a room. I thought the room was a bit much but she said she'd be happy to let me and a friend go halfsies on the room and on her. The dream skipped forward past the sex to me and said friend trying to evade police because girl turned out to be underage.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

The Book Store

Last night:
Looking for a book, a Christmas or birthday present for someone. I call a bookstore and they have something that sounds like it'll fill the bill, some kind of history book. I show up and it's a big, clean, well lit and well organized book store. I find the owner. The book they're recommending to me is on the counter. It seems perfect. While wandering around I find the basement level but it's not a store. it's like a locker room. Shower tile on the floor and walls and lots of naked or half naked people wandering around, some forming circles all seeming like they're up to some important business. The owner is the most confident, charismatic guy. He seems very smart and I'm wondering just what is going on.
The book is used and he's crossed out the name on several previous inscriptions and written my name in, leaving the rest of the inscription in tact so I'm greeted and wished well by people I've never met referring to incidence I don't know anything about. The book it turns out is by the owner of the book store and isn't about the history it claims to be about it's all about his personal life retold by what was happing in his life when he learned of various historical events for the first time.
I go back to the store and the basement level now is full of hospital beds and cubical walls and each bed has someone tied up on it, apparently voluntarily. Most are naked and tied in a way that would all easy access for having sex with the person. I look for the owner but I wake up after spotting a beautiful woman with a belt holding her thighs up against her belly.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Men in suits in pool

I'm swimming with Max and there are two people who work for me as assistants or something sitting on bleachers nearby. I call them over and hand them Max so I can swim to the other end of the pool and get out. As I drop under water I see two men in suits drop into the pool facing and then approaching me. I realize that them having suits on and jumping in the pool is not a good sign and I become very afraid. I wake up tense and stressed out about some big deal I've signed. I have to get up to shake the idea that I signed some big deal which I may regret.

Later, hot sex with my wife dream. Yay.

Had one more dream before I woke up but I don't remember it.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Giant dog, just huge. Smelled like doggy shampoo which I didn't like. Stopped to talk to panhandling gypsy punk types, was telling them something about the homeless dude who stayed at my house then I corrected and said "not homeless" just a travelling musician as if they were judging me. One of them told me he could play something on the cello. We started walking, I thought in the direction of a cello but as we walked he said he didn't have a cello. We went back to him and his friends, I gave them some change, nobody played me any music.
Later or earlier Bryna gave me chocolate ice cream. I went to get myself more and I realized she'd scooped all the chocolate for me out of a chocolate vanilla combo. She loves me.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Awful Dream

Bryna was not sleeping well and having bad dreams. I'm sure that, plus the terrible sinus headache I'm struggling with triggered my own bad dream. I dreamt that Bryna was sitting up in bed having terrible stomach pain. She'd called the advice nurse who said this was nothing unusual and that she wasn't at risk of losing the baby yet but we weren't convinced. I got her to lay down and noticed blood on her forehead. She told me she had tried choking herself to get some sleep and that she may have also hit her head. I told her no more choking herself. When I woke up, the dream seemed very real and it took me awhile to realize it was a dream.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Crime can be fun

Night before last, I was a criminal. A crime gang run by a guy who might've been Russell Peters let me help with a crime. I stole a bag of money from some bar and even though it seemed like nobody'd seen it, I hopped the bag fence rather than take a chance. I was able to leap right over it. Turned out this was a good thing to do becausee there were indeed people inside looking for the loot.
I hopped in the Bosses car and we took off. Somehow some toughs caught up with us. They went through the car. They told me to check that my Camera was okay. I'd put the money in my camera bag so I knew they'd taken the money.
I was afraid that the gang I was with would be pissed, plus I was still the one who did and could get caught for the crime but I didn't have the money so I was a perfect fall guy. But at the same time, I came through unscathed so far and I might just go on about my business having had some fun being a criminal.

Barak Tapan Hussein Obama Trivedi, Stand Up President

Last night dreamt Tapan was Barak Obama. I was touring with the President of The United States, doing stand up comedy. Rad.
I was working a shift at The Crest durring a music show. My friend Patrick was on stage playing an old timey key-tar which is funny because I don't think there is such a thing. Patrick kept talking between songs like he was the band leader, telling the audience what it's like to play a key-tar when you're used to a regular organ or piano keyboard. I was pretty sure he was just supposed to play and wasn't supposed to be talking to the audience all the time. The audience were really smart kids who knew all about old timey key-tars and what not.
I was trying out my jokes on the other Crest employees and they didn't think they were funny. Really they weren't. Things like "Hey wow, I bet you didn't expect to see the President of The United States doing stand up comedy tonight" or "Man, what if McCain had one because of racists? Would you really want to win that way? I mean how could you even govern?" In the dream these seemed like jokes, but only to me.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Trouble Sleeping

two dreams in a row where I'm cornered by well meaning but annoying women who want to talk and talk and who are immune to polite social cues and in both cases I realize that I'm dreaming and that if I wake up they will go away! I wake up, and YAY, they're gone.

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Two nights in a row dreamed about food. Last night, I'm at my mom's with my brothers waiting for her to show up as she is making breakfast but first I am going through her cabinets eating all kinds of sweets. she has some kind of waffles with strawberry filling that are stacked in her cabinet with no packaging. I know its a bad idea to eat so many sweets but I'm out of control.

Night before, after doing a really great show, I dreamed I'd just done a really great show and was now with some older couple, friends of my parents or an aunt and uncle. I was a young adult, maybe early 20s in the dream and we were in a huge store that had food, I was eating a calzone but filled with mushrooms and sauce, no cheese and walking around. I found a section that sold records and they had lots of cool stuff in brand new, mint condition. My only disappointment was that there was no comedy section. I finished the giant calzone and went to pay for it explaining to the sales clerk that it was me who set off the alarm on accident, I'd wandered into the employees only section because I thought it was an adult's only section.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I suck at this

Man, I haven't updated in ages.
And now sac press linked here. Shit. Its always tempting to pull a few posts down when I think anyone is actually reading this thing. Anyway, a bit of catch up

Last night, dreamt that Morken and Sid had put together a cartoon show at The Crest just basically playing a collection of great old cartoons from $1 dvds like you get at target. The projectionist being like a DJ for cartoons. I was emcee but I realized right before going up that the audience was mostly kids and that I'd have to clean up my act. Sid was stressed about attendance. I reminded her that the audience would come late and that overhead was very low anyway.

Night before, wonderful peaceful dream abotu doing my shows at Luna's. Shows went well and I was doing some sort of abstract trade with someone. This trade, which I really can't explain it was a very vague abstract floating sort of thing that sometimes occurs in dreams, continued as I was waking and I had to work to shake it and wake up fully. All in all though a nice relaxing dream.

Another night back and I dreamt that the two girls in the apt next to ours were over. I was helping one of them help the other with her video editing class. The one actually in the class seemed to care less. Then her boyfriend started calling. They didn't answer the phone and I got the feeling this guy was bad news. Then he shows up at their door banging and yelling. So, they open my door and tell him they'll answer the phone now. He walks right into my apt and grabs his girlfriend by the hair to drag her out. I jump on him, get him in a wrestling hold and start pushing his head into the hallway wall. I have a good hold on him but I can't figure out how to do much to subdue him. I see a push pin on the wall and I push it into the strained muscles at the back of his neck. Bryna moves in her sleep and I think it's the guy getting out of my grip. I wake up with a start and am relieved that I didn't hit Bryna in my sleep. My neck is all tight and I have to get up and walk around to shake the dream.

Another night back. Good performance dream. I do my show, it goes good, everyone laughs, YAY!

Back one more and shitty performance dream. I do show it sucks, I'm scrambling and stuck on stage for the better part of an hour.

My subconcious is clearly quite invested in these shows.

Friday, January 16, 2009

the dream team is in the house

Dreamt last night that Jsin had put up the video he shot at The Science Comedy Show which I'm keen to see. But when I woke up, still no video.

A few nights ago I dreamt that I was going to Burning Man with someone and it was quite a trek getting there. We flew into some middle of nowhere town and were tying to figure out how to go the rest of the way when I realized we were close enough that EVERYONE around us would be going so we joined a huge throng of hippie types hitchin' on the side of the road.

Way back I had one I really should've written down and in fact really thought I had.
So I'm sleeping at my brother's house in his room which already makes me feel weird and then I have this dream and in the dream I'm in just that same bed and I realize Bryna's been kidnapped. I'm very unhappy. There is an Indian woman there and she knows something about it (This was the day after all the horrible violence in Mumbai.) I really want Bryna back so I punch the lady in the face and then I tell here that I will hit her again and "break her face" if she doesn't tell me where Bryna is. My brother John doesn't approve but he knows why I'm freaking out. He suggests we look at the surveilence tapes. ?!?! Tapes?! So, we do, apparently there are cameras all over the house and the camera in the room I was sleeping in was smart enough tto follow the kidnappers who came into the room and lead Bryna out as I continued sleeping. I see their hideout and I realize the geeky guy who operates the security room has a picture of the hideout on his desktop. I ask him where the picture is, he tells me, we get ready to go.
I'm going to go full guns a blazing. I'm ready to KILL. My mom calls to tell me not to act brashly. She doesn't know Bryna's been kidnapped she just knows I'm upset about something and prone to acting brash. I start to tell her about Bryna but then I blink my eyes open for a minute. There is Bryna, sleeping next to me. I'm not sure if I'm awake or still in the dream. I actually think for a minute that I need to call my mom but I start to put together that it was a dream. I have a hard time shaking the bad image of punching the lady in the face. I hug Bryna and try to go back to sleep.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Sex in the workplace and more

Night before last dreamt that I was wandering about with a lady and a black guy, on some sort of roving show where eventually I'd be expected to do my act but they both kept doing pieces of it before I had a chance to. I could see my routine. It was a black smudge but with sharp edges and very opaque, high contrast.

Last night, or rather this morning I finally had a dream where I getting some sex without being immediately thwarted by apparent need to be faithful even in my dreams. I was at work, only work was a-lot like the house where I group up and my office was my old bedroom, but with only one bed in it more like my current bedroom. I was being flirty with a coworker, one who I am pretty flirty with in real life and she was giving those subtle signs that I could kiss her. I went to do so and she stopped me, asking about my wife. I said that my wife didn't mind and I asked her if she wanted to call her husband. She dismissed that and I sensed that she might be upset at said husband. I thought about calling my wife, my cell phone still in my hand from offering it to my coworker. I decided that she really would be fine with it and I didn't want to ruin the mood. We kissed. I pushed up her shirt and placed by hand between her legs. I took off her panties but she still had most of her clothes on, the better to return to working after. I was naked, though I don't recall taking off my clothes.
I noticed the door slightly ajar. I had a sense that some coworkers suspected what was going on but not the boss. I shut the door. Strange: the very coworker I was fooling around with was also outside the bedroom and was one of the people I figured knew what was going on.
My coworker was thinner and smaller and younger than in real life but it didn't occur to me until after I woke up.
I grabbed an opaque black condom and told her I couldn't wait to be inside her. I slid inside her and right as I got going I was woken up by my wife calling my cell phone. Arggghhhh!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Three or four dreams

Watching people do tricks in an empty swimming pool on bikes. There is one person who seems to represent our crew. I realize she is an older woman and then I become very nervous about her hurting herself. Later in same dream, or same night at least...
I'm booked to MC a show. I go to do intro someone but they start without an introduction. I'm embarrassed and I yell at my friend Scott who is apparently producing the show. I am really mad. I throw my phone and break it. Scott gets someone else to emcee. I see this and I'm furious. I shove Scott on the ground and am fixin' to kick his ass. He is much smaller than me and it feels terrible to be fighting with him.

I go to hang out with Nicole as both of her parents are dead. I believe this is the occasion of her mom's death, though in real life Mom went first and other than a quick cup of coffee than an a few unreturned voicemails when Dad died I really wasn't able to be there for her. But now, in the dream we're hanging out, having a lovely chat and checking out the old house where we'd spent many hours. In the dream the house is small, the kitchen is like a motorhome kitchen and I marvel that we all once hung out in it. Her crazy aunt shows up and she is worried about me saying that we all hung out in the kitchen, as if this could be a problem for the aunt. I sense that teh aunt is not comforting for Nicole and we go sit on the curb and talk some more. Her sister is around somewhere as well. I wake up missing Nicole and feeling sad that she is dead.

My comedy tour is booked at some gig in a village, outdoors, coliseum type setting but smaller and more rustic. We don't know what to do. We do some silly village people sing along which seems appropriate and I make bad jokes, doing the Shakespearean version of "Here I sit broken hearted."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Three dreams

Okay, so not in order because I"m already forgetting it, but at one point in last nights dream I'm walking with Em Yay and Bryna and I am telling them that I have a way to help Obama win the election; I'm going to make t'shirts depicting McCain (or it may have even been Bush in the dream) saying "No peas for me." but Obama is saying "Yes, please. I love peas." and I figure this'll get the voters riled up because every body loves peas. I mean, who doesn't love peas? Emily laughed her big generous throw her head back laugh and when I woke up I decided that laughs was what I missed the most about her.
Later, or earlier, but I think later we're at someone's house and Paige is there and my brother James is there and Bryna's there and we're all joking around and having fun and I realize how much I love this and I miss the earlier part of my adult life when it was common for everyone to hang out at my house, especially in the mornings when I'd cook up giant vats of potatoes with rosemary and garlic.
Oh, but back to walking down the street with Em and Bryna. Em tells me that she is Elaine from Taxi, I think her intent being to make fun of the ridiculousness of my plan for helping Obama win, but I way "YAY! I'm Latka!" and I start a very annoying Andy Kaufman impersonation.

A few nights earlier I'm rolling around with Alexis all night. She is in small gray shorts with matching tank top and I want very badly to have sex with her but I keep telling her to hold off because I have to get in touch of my wife to get permission. Now, in real life I don't ask my wife permission to have sex with other girls much less cheat on her, but in dreams, god dang it, I should be allowed to do as I please, they're just dreams! Ah well.

Oh, and speaking of polyamory I had a dream that my buddy Jason was super tired and I'm like, dude, why you so tired and he's all, "Oh man, my wife and I had a three way with some other dude and you know how that goes..."

Monday, August 11, 2008

hot sex, birds, kittens, lions, weird guy

First off was the sex. Great stuff. Starring myself (of course) and the wife upright, her ass resting partially on the kitchen counter. Okay, that was nice. Then a nice post coital walk. We see ants eating a larger bug. And a bunch of birds are above the scene going nuts, like they want to get to the ants (or the bug) but their blocked by a strange grid of branches. Then as we're looking we're startled by a kitten pouncing on the birds. The kitten licks the birds. Then two lionesses run by. Yep, thats right, two lionesses. We hold real still as they pass. The lion across the street is going crazy. There is a house across the street with a pet lion in the front yard. I decide we should get where we're going quickly and we start jogging in th direction the lioness went. We stop suddenly and step to the side allowing lion(ess(es)) to pass us.
On the news that night all the attention is focused on the strange guy who had the pet lion. He, the news reports, doesn't work and is supported by someone who just keeps his good looks and good speaking voice and good grooming on hold for when ever its needed. With all the attention his weirdness (Lion keeping, not working, etc.) has drawn his profile is too high for his benefactors uses. Said benefactor now installs cameras all over for a reality tv show based on the gentelman's proclivity for strange sex, a proclivity he must develope if he doesn't already have.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Back Yard Pool Party

I'm at a pool party. Apparently invited by Tapan as he is the only person there I know. Most of the guest are jock, cargo pants type guys with girlfriends in bikinis who just lay in the sun not talking. Tapan was on top of this weird round platform that water came up from the center of and then ran over constantly. He was having a blass. I was not in swimming attire. One of the 'dudes' asked me to take a picture and then a bunch of pictures of his girlfriend. I don't know why I had to take them as he wasn't in the shots. She looked bored. Some big guy came and stood right in front of me and I had to ask him to move. The 'dude' was real happy that I'd taken the pictures of his 'hot' girlfriend. I went inside and saw Tapan smoking a cigar. I asked where he got it. He offered it to me but the end was shredded and slobbery. Bored girl told me that 'dude' had cigars and that he was looking for me to offer me one. Found dude, was picking out short mellow cigar, woke up....

Monday, July 28, 2008

Don't Hit Me; I'm Too Smart!

I am playing with a cockatiel. It is very smart. I hit it on the back of it's head. It jumps off its perch and marches away crying. I follow it. It turns around and yells "Don't Hit Me! I'm Too Smart!" I tell it I'm sorry, and I am. The bird then climbs on my finger and snuggles against me shivering like it's just desperate to be loved. I pet it and feel guilty. Even after I wake up I feel guilty all day.


I'm at some rich kind of trashy girls house in some sort of professional capacity. I have a clip board and I'm trying to take notes but she keeps making out with first one guy and then a different guy. I'm standing there waiting thinking "this is stupid" while she makes out with some hipster on her bed and then she spots a sex toy and is embarassed. She brushes it to the side. The dude keeps trying to make out with her but now she is over it.
He leaves. I sit down with her to do whatever business I'm there to do. I pull out the sex toy and she is shy but I'm very confident and reassuring. I get her off with it. Then she gives me head and she press her tongue against my frenulum as I cum, causing me to come long and hard.

Monday, July 21, 2008

all I have to do is dream....

Last night, dreamt Nicole died in my bed. I lived in a tiny one room white brick apartment. The front door opened right onto the sidewalk. I don't know if she was my girlfriend, or if it was a platonic relationship or what, but there she was and just like her death in real life, I couldn't find my emotions. I was numb. So I stepped outside into the sun and I called my little brother. I explained my situation and I choked up a bit, maybe even cried, but it felt forced.

Later I'm driving with Bill and I've explained what happened. We're going camping and I'm wondering if there will be any sexual contact between us and I'm trying to decide if I'd be interested in that.
Still later I'm at Safeway, seated by the Starbucks which is where I go to use the wifi. Bryna is with me and we're kissing and flirting and then I lift her skirt and start performing oral sex on her right there at Safeway. I think someone we knew happened upon us but that part of the dream is fading...

A few nights back I dreamt that Coexist was going on at The Crest (which we are soon) but the tour was made up of me, John plus Sid and Ducky? Sid seemed to be doing mostly off stage stuff, announcing us etc. Things were going okay, not sensational, on stage. We'd sold out the audience so that was good, but then Ducky took the stage and started doing TFO type stuff that had nothing to do with the tour and hadn't been run by us at all. I was pissed and horrified as Ducky took over and ran away with our show.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Fuck I'm Weird

I'm a black guy in a dance troupe with three other guys but we're really organized crime types and so we pretend we're doing a dance routine while we sneak off stage and out the back door ala the Blues Brothers but a copy catches me so I kick his ass and maybe even stab him with a pen but I'm able to undo things if I think I did something bad, like rewind and undo
but then I'm a white guy again I think, but I'm still the guy that fought with the cop and I seem my friend Chris (who is black) and he has crazy long hair which means he has been out of the military awhile which is strange since I thought he was still in Iraq and then a cop talks to us but I play it cool and the cop doesn't recognize me but Chris runs all over the warehouse we're for some reason in acting crazy and I start to realize that he is very unstable and I suspect he is schyzophrenic, as a friend of mine in real life actually is the symptoms having shown up after he reached adult hood. I bring Chris home to Bryna and watch as she and other people realize that somethings not quite right and then I'm crying and walking int eh rain and I'm naked and I need to find clothes but I don't feel particluarly modest and luckily a woman offers me some clother.

A couple of nights earlier I dreamt that I went back in time and Darwinian subconcious impulses meant that I, having even just a few decades more evolving done than the girls my same age in the past am suddenly irresistibly attractive to them and I flirt and catch eyes and I walk right up to this blonder girl in a bikin top and little dolphin shorts and put my hand on her ass and I kiss her chest and I just keep on walking...

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Run Aways, Emily and France, Bear, Scary Upstairs

I dreamt that I still had my bus. I was out walking and saw a skinny girl, mid to late teens sleeping in a car or being chased away from the car or something. Later I discover her sleeping in my bus. I figured it was decked out pretty nice to live in, it's purpose really, so I told her she could crash there for awhile while she got back on her feet. I felt really good about it, because the bus is almost like a little apartment and she could feel safe and know that she had somewhere to go. I told her I'd make breakfast. Then I went in and told Bryna that I let an underage runaway move in to my bus. She took it surprising well.

The next night, after seeing a news program about Mormon exiles or "lost boys", I dreamt that I let a couple of THEM come stay with us. I don't what is with the runaway theme.

I dreamt Emily was back from France. At first I thought she'd had a fight with her boyfriend and I'm like YOU DON'T LEAVE FRANCE OVER A FIGHT! YOU....JUST.... GET ALONG!!! But, she actually was back because it had been decided that she was going to live there and so she had to pack up her apartment and take care of some business. Our house was crazy. In addition to Emily my family was there and a present had arrived from George of Sea Monkeys but I don't remember what it was or what was odd about it, but something...
Oh, and also Emily had a custom card made for us, she wrote the text but then had it printed and printed sort of ghetto, like she found a twenty five cent make your own card machine or something.
Thene we were at a big store that had a zoo like exhibit with a bear and then the bear seemed made and was charging, and I thought the scenery was made to look bigger than it was so the bear was reaching us much quicker than he should have. We all ran, along with other customers to the parking lot. We locked the doors. We both insisted on driving back by the store though because we really wanted to see the bear but Bryna made sure our windows were all the way up first and that is funny because in real life our windows are stuck in the up position and won't roll down and we have now air conditioning.

THEN a couple nights ago the scarry upstairs apartment. We're in our apartment only it's my nondivorced parents apartment with an extra room, our room. My friends Crelly and Kate are over and they want to see the attic which I never went into so we pull down the attic ladder stairs thing and go up and it's a great little two bedroom apartment with a kitchen. And I'm stoked and we'll live here and I remember suggesting that we not even tell the landlord that we know about it. I start to wonder about it though. Why hasn't the landlord mentioned it. Why is it furnished and why does it look like it was vacated so quickly. I start to be afraid of it. No real reason, just dreadfully afraid.
I try to go to sleep (still in the dream here) and my mom comes in and lays down across the bed to talk with us. She is scared too. Bryna, half asleep, says she knows the man that we sense and he thinks I am a genius but bares me know ill will. I sense that this man/ghost whatever was a controlling oppressive not good sort.

When I wake up I'm freaked and I have a really hard time sleeping.

Friday, May 23, 2008


Sometimes it's hard to decide what to share since I do dream about people I know. Usually I just change the name, but if I'm writing about a group I'm involved in and a limited number of people are in the group, well it's too easy to figure out who it is.
Oh well. If you're friends with me, you might have to deal with the fact that I occasionally dream about you naked.
SO then, I dreamt that my comedy troupe was performing in LA. I found out last minute that a friend of mine was opening for us. This friend is known for going on and on, usually way over the amount of time alloted when he performs. He's a good performer but his shows are always WAY too much of a good thing and tend to exhaust audiences. I try to, as politically as possible, convince the club booker not to have this go open but it is no use, and I find out we're actually the FOURTH troupe going on, though we're the headliner, in this case it sounds like a bad thing.
The backstage area and the club in general is crazy; split level, hallways and bridges and balconies and very strange. I found a dressing room area and one of the girls in my troupe walks by in a bathrobe that in real life is my wife's bathrobe. It's open and I can see her breast and belly. At first I'm flummoxed but I want to see more so after I pass I turn and initiate conversation. She's halfway into her dressing room but showing me more. In the dreams she has small breasts, in real life she has fairly large breasts. Her immodesty tells me she is probably open to fooling around and I decide I'd like to. I wake up though before anything actually happens.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Swingin' desserts

I have some friends who are swingerific. In this dream I and the wife of this couple are getting desserts at a buffet. We're both vegan (in real life she isn't) but we're cheating on our diet with chocolate cake with whipped cream and strawberry shortcake with whipped cream.
I'm not sure she's a swinger in the dream and there is a sense that if we're cheating on our diets maybe we can cheat on our partners.
I'm concerned that I'm having so man affair dreams lately. This is the first one where it didn't involve me having explicit permission. weird.
I woke up really wanting some dessert.


Christian dream, second one this week (see Leaky Roof Fireworks). This time he's back and really clean cut looking, trimmer too, like he was when were young.
He tells me of an uncle who warned Christian's cousins to watch him since he was a drunk and a thief. Christian, who is on the wagon (sober) in this dream tells me how he responded by holding a bottle (he holds the bottle in much the way used to steal bottles years ago by sliding them into the fore arm of his jacket) and he hops into a puddle and acts drunk and crazy stomping around in the puddle. Christian is actually acting it out in a puddle as he describes it and people are stopping to watch.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I can, but I can't

About a month ago I had a dream that I was rolling around with a really cute Asian girl and I had Bryna's permission (common theme lately?) but we were in public and I didn't think I could explain to anyone who saw us that I had permission and that I wasn't being unfaithful so I was reserved. I really liked this girl though and she was awfully pretty.

Blow Jobs for The Bride!

My family is around me. I'm at a hotel I think. In preparation for my wedding my fiancee will go on a date with one of my friends. In the dream this is a ritual that most couples do. It ritualistically tests the bride's devotion and loyalty but not too much of a test since the date is with someone the groom trusts. Mostly just a fun tradition.
I tell her that I'm okay with it if she wants to give and or receive some oral sex on her date. My friend shows up in a limousine that is pedaled, like a stretch Velo cab.

Leaky Roof, fireworks

The roof in the bathroom is leaking, the ceiling is buckling and I'm sure it's going to cave in. It does, in a big way. I run to my brother john and tell him that the ceiling has buckled. We run to the bathroom and the rain is coming right through the roof and ceiling to the pointer where it's practically raining in the bathroom and blowing at an angle into the hallway.
We head to the backyard and for some reason we climb the fence far from the house and then traversed the top of the fence rather than just climbing by the house. John does this well but I find I can't quite move swiftly along the top of the fence and so I hope down and climb the fence by the house, onto the house.
My mom is now up on the roof with me. At some point it stopped raining. There are nephews on the roof and one of them falls through the hole in the roof but is kept safe by all various bits of wreckage slowing his fall.
It's night then, my nephews are all holding full handfuls of bottle rockets and blowing 'em all off from their hands. I'm concerned, not for their safety but that they're not moving around as they do it, so they'll make it easy for the cops to get to 'em.
Later in the night, or maybe it was earlier, I dream that some kind of bulky dark guy with bleached hair and beard is calling my name. The guy catches up to me and it's my friend Christian. Christian has been incommunicado for the past year. In the dream he shows up out of nowhere and off the wagon. He is drunk and I start thinking about how I tell Anne that he is back and drinking again.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

pre-wedding dreams

School, I'm nerdy guy, with glasses but kind of cook nerdy, at least I think so and I'm quiet and I just star very intently. And at one point I'm picking up on two girls and I lay across them but they make me get up but they don't make too big a deal of it. I go to a class where all the computers used to be but they're gone, supposedly in the next room so that this room can be used for some cute somewhat chubby girl to have a party and she's very popular and I'm enjoying being there but nobody talks to me and I start to feel awkward and so I leave and as I'm walking out the door Nick, my friend who is now a rock star (in real life) is walking in.

Had another dream, my parents were together, big party at their house, like a family get together and George the Sea Monkey guy was there but he was very old and kind of grumpy and working on something very intense. and there were five steps he needed to write out and it was of utmost importance and had something to do with Sea Monkeys.

And a few days before that I dreamt that I caught Bryna smoking and was very upset. She thought I was making a big deal of it. I didn't know how to make her take me seriously. I told her I didn't want to marry a smoker. My heart was pounding as I said it. She laughed at me. It was hard not to laugh myself. My emotions were all confused.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Sea Monkey Savior

Last night I dreamt that I was making house calls to help people with their sea-monkeys. Somehow I had to make a delicious dinner as part of the process of fixing the sea-monkey tanks? I was eating the dinner and the girl whose tank I was working on was in her room waiting patiently for me to be done. I decided that on all future jobs I would let the customer eat the dinner, the dinner that HAD to be made to save the Sea-Monkeys. It was, and is, completely unclear to me how the two are related.

Dreamt that both my parents were at my house and they were huge. They were both trying to cook in my little tiny kitchen and I knew that was a bad idea (my parents are VERY estranged.) They had really big buts and their buts were battling for space as they were both bent over their culinary projects.

Dreamt that I was trying to arrange to have sex with the last girl I ever slept with before getting together with Bryna as a last harrah before getting married. For some reason I had to push my penis into a Styrofoam ball to leave an impression of it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Way behind

Never been the most disciplined guy, but I gotta get better at keeping this thing. If I don't write 'em down they fade, blend together, but then the come back at odd times and I swear then that I'll move 'em to the front of my brain with my more concrete memories, but it doesn't work, not often anyway. Oh well, here goes; working backwards...

Moving some stuff into an apartment in a big apartment building, the kind with an indoor hallway. A tall black man, Kenny perhaps, is offering help. I have a kiddie swimming pool and I dump the little bit of water that is left in it around the corner on the carpet in front of a neighbor's apartment. I go in and talk with Bryna, fold up the pool and notice that the apartment is starting to look neat. "We're reclaiming our apartment." I tell Bryna. When I wake up I'm bummed. Our apartment is still a mess.

I have a bit of a crush on a blond woman who works at the coffee shop I frequent. In this dream we're hanging out, we're naked and it's understood that I have a girlfriend and so we can kiss or have sex but it's okay to be affectionate, which is really quite nice. She lays on top of me and I wrap my arms around her, and I decide to ask permission to go on a road trip with her and to have a bit of an affair. It's common in my dreams for me to seek such permission. Funny that I don't seem to dream about cheating only about having an allowed dalliance. So, I ask for permission, permission is granted and we head off on our road trip. It's really fun and exciting to be on the road with a beautiful exciting women and to not be doing anything wrong. I feel happy and alive. Again (see next dream, working backwards remember) I'm really affected and can't shake the dream. This girl's working the next day when I go to get my coffee and I'm all flustered when I talk with her. I even leave without my coffee and have to go back and get it.

Another permission dream, only this time I'm with young Bryna, the 18 year old Bryna that I first fell in love with, and I have to ask the current Bryna for permission.
I wake up feeling really affected by this one. I think I miss the care free days when we had nothing but time for each other. And always I miss being on the road. I'm really looking forward to our honeymoon.

Friday, January 25, 2008

severed head alarm clock

Well it wasn't quite severed, but dissembodied or at least lacking a body. It seemed fine without a body as if it maybe never had one. It was making noise, telling me something, serving as an alarm.
I woke up and turned off my alarm.
Prior to the head going off I'd been dreaming about my comedy festival. In the dream it was thursday. the show was over and had apparently done okay. I was talking with Andrew from Cody Rivers and telling him that I was relieved. That if Thursday had done okay then Friday and Saturday would do really well.
The show seems to have been in a small room, maybe a classroom or a cafe?

A few nights ago I dreamt that we were in a tall buidling and someone was at the window with remote controls. I looked and he had a red and a blue remote control truck that he was driving around and making do great spins on the street below. The trucks looked like remote control toy trucks, monochromatic and boxy, but they were life size and doing crazy damage to all the cars parked on the street. He let me drive one. It was fun.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Suzie Q- the snack cake that is whipped pigs fat and sugar between two chocolate cakes, only this one's giant and shaped like a guitar and I'm playing with it like it's a real guitar and singing a song made up of the names of snack cakes "Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos" etc. The guitar belongs to Bryna and I feel bad when I can't help eating it.
We're in a locker room, or laundry mat. We put our clothes in a locker that dries your clothes or warms 'em at least, but you pull the key and lock the clothes in. We just want to warm our clothes because it's cold out and their still a little wet. I don't seem to remember us being naked though? There's a living room attached to the laundry mat/locker room. I leave the remains of the half eaten Suzie -Q guitar in there.
Dream jumps. Bryna has my old job at Capitol Aquarium. I'm helping her. The lights keep going out. There are some weird fish, including an elephant nosed dolphin fish, which is a huge fish with a weird smooshed up wrinkled nose and very little resemblance to an actual elephant nosed fish, which always reminded me of a dolphin. There was also a fresh water shark who looked like a toy shark, all squat and big eyed with two large cheek disks like a frog.
There were a bunch of kids helping Bryna do the job I used to do alone and I noticed the siphons were no longer set up to keep the tank from draining all the way down. I explained to Bryna how we could set them up so that they wouldn't drain so much.
I was distraught to see they pulled a half an aisle of fish tanks to sell dolls and toys all of which were marketed towards black people. The manager explained that the janitor bought enough toys to make it worth carrying them.

Monday, December 10, 2007

1) Nicole's parents
I show up at Nicole's sister's apartment. Nicole = highshcool girlfriend who I'm totally out of touch with now. I'm surprised upon visiting her sister to discover that she is there also. And then I'm further surprised to see that her parents are there. Nicole's parents once read her diary and found out she gave me a blowjob. I was never quite comfortable with them after that, despite the fact that frequently intoxicated mom was sure I was Jesus Christ and then some, the genius of my generation. No, really, the lady was quite impressed with me for some reason. So, back to the dream. I hem and ha over Nicole's mother as I never expected to see her again. I ask that they take a pictre of us together, I insist even. Only later do I remember that Nicole's mother is dead. I realize with horror that I fussed over and even posed for a picture with the widowers NEW wife, embarrassing myself and really driving home the fact that he married a woman that looked exactly like his first wife. I'm relieved when I wake up, just to be free of the awkwardness. Then I remember that Nicole's father died last year.

2) Sexually Harassing Zombie
It's zombie hollocaust time again and as of late my zombie dreams involve rebuilding society in the suburbs. Bryna and I find a small gated community and a couple has a zombie head that they're taking out to the trash. They invite us in. The zombie's body is twitching in the kitchen, all wrapped up in black garbage bags. This is unusual, the zombies in my dreams usually follow the rules; no head, no move. Ah well, I help the couple take out the trash and we close up the doors. I think there's a visit from some older guy who is a busy body at leat, but may be in some position of authority, either assumed or granted. Then it's just hanging out with this nice couple who remind me a bit of my cousin Isa and her husband. It's pleasant hanging out. A zombie walks by and he's really tall. He comes to the glass door and he's covered in blood. He can talk! He's got a dirty mouth and mostly talks about Bryna's body parts. We all just stare at him as a curiosity. We'll have to kill him, but it's just another chore, not a big deal at all.

3) Mom and Spider
We're at mom's, the family, not all of us, but a good sized crowd. There's a spider on the carpet. Bryna says it's the bad kind, not good to get bit by. Mom is not afraid and is trying to make the spider eat a smaller bug. She pushes the spider around with her finger and has no fear of it. (In real life, NO WAY.)
The spider then flattens out on the ground, and spreads out, transforming into a large flat disc. The flat spider disc eats the bug.

4) Bryna smoking
I hear bryna tearing coupons on the back porch. Bryna used to hang out on the back porch when she smoked. I push my head agains the screen until it stretches enough for me to see that she is smoking. I walk out on the porch and catch her smoking. I'm very upset. I ask her how long. She says a few weeks. I'm mad that she didn't tell me. I go inside. I come out again, I take her soft back of camels which are sitting on the steps a few steps down and I tear them up and throw them. She gets up to walk away from me. I think of all the ways I could have responded. She's mad at me, I want to talk, I want to make her go back to not smoking, I'm asking her if she's walking somewhere to talk or trying to walk away. She's really mad. I want to do the right thing and be the good guy but I'm mad and don't feel like she should be mad and I wake relieved that it's not real and I take a minute to shake it off and I wrap around my nonsmoking sweetie and go back to sleep.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Damn, fell behind again

Start with last night, work backwords
Dreamt that Bryna was showing me the apartment she had on a high story of a buidling, way up there. It looks like a real luxory pad and I feel bad that we live in such a modest place but determined to find us something better and I sense that she's missing the nice diggs.
I woke up to the cat running under our bed, but then I realized that the cat we were sitting has gone home to grandma's and so I wonder what the hell ran under the bed. I turn on the lights, and look under the bed, I check the whole apartment. I find the back door unlocked which freaks me out. I determine that I must have dreamt the the cat ran under the bed, but it had to have been triggered by something as my dream shifted so suddenly and then I woke up.
I don't sleep well.

Night before: My big brother John is in bed recovering. He had half his body taken away from him, though I'm not sure how. He's grown back the half he lost, right down to his fingers and facial features. He tells me that this is the proof of God I've been asking for. Science can offer no explaination for his miraculous recovery. I admit that I thought he would have, at best, some useless lumps of flesh in place of his left side, if he survived at all. I promise to do some research.

Another night back: A teacher is instructing the students in my class to go to my show and then to see a movie that is playing after my show.
Class ends. I head to the show with the teacher but he's dawdling. Then we stop to pick up my nephew Antonio and the teacher tries out Antonio's skateboard. I'm worried about being late and I'm talking myself out of being worried about attendance. It doesn't matter, I say out loud, even if just the other students are there it will be fine. The show is really funny.

A few nights before that. I run through a grocery store and stab a developmentally disabled girl in the chest. I feel terrible and I don't know why I did it. I get her to the sidewalk in front of the store and I try to care for her while we wait for an ambulence. She seems fine. The whole where I stabbed her with some conical black thing that wasn't quite a knife, is closing up and not bleeding. I worry about internal bleeding. I see an army of cops coming. I decide to "give the collar" to the bike cops. The cops handcuff me and start smacking me around, knocking me over just to pick me up and know me over again. I don't like it. I wake myself up.

Same night. I'm out with Bryna and Sue (an old friend who we're now estranged from.) We go into an opera house in a small town. The opera house is HUGE. We find seat way to the back. It's crowded and we assume it's crowded all the way up. Later we realize that most of the house is empty, only crowded in the back. I stab Sue and her inflatable body deflates. The folks around us think we're carrying on rudely. The act on stage is struggling as they can barely be heard.
Back at home I try to repair Sue's body with tape but when I reinflate her the tape doesn't hold. He spirit and Bryna dismiss me as a complete doofus.
I look in the back yard and there's a rat pary, but also a bug party. Big groups of bugs forming pretty patterns. And animated looking baby racoons. I call Bryna to see.
When I wak up I find out Bryna had dreamt of Sue and of Racoons also.

Rat Party: May have been the same night as above dreams. There is a park in Sacramento where the Rats come out in amazing numbers at dusk. The Rat Party is REAL, not just something I dreamt. After seeing it I dreamt that I heard a noise in the kitchen. Going to check it out, I witness a Rat Party in my kitchen and it scares me something aweful. I call to Bryna to wake up and I see that there are rats in our room and they're crawling on Bryna. AUUGGGHHH. I woke up.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Zombies all the time

Watched 28 Days Later again two nights ago:
Dreamt that I was living in a 3 bedroom track home with six other guys. We were two to a room in a gated community trying to rebuild in the midst of a Zombie holocaust. We didn't see any zombies and it was mostly just satisfying work building up a comfortable community with inventiveness and elbow grease. No money, no job, but lots of hard work.
The dream morphed a bit and it was my brothers and I in the house. My mom was in a house nearby and came by to visit. Later my dad lived in our house too.
We saw paratrooper landing and realized it was The German Army come to help America fight the zombies. I said "Good, this should wipe 'em out." and my little brother said "Bullshit. The army is going to get infected and the mess will get worse." I figured he was right. Zombies came out of the wood work, from everywhere, drawn by the noise of the paratroopers who started shooting 'em.
Then things were quiet again. A little girl was now living in the house. Maybe the daughter that I often dream that I have. She said a man was walking really slowly outside and she didn't think he could see or hear. I looked out the window and it was a zombie. I saw a few more. I figured it was James' prediction come true.

My Birthday Present and Parking

There was a young lady working for me when I was in retail. I couldn't help noticing that she was quite attractive. She was flirty and I went out of my way to avoid being alone with her. If she'd come into my office I'd walk out onto the floor, that kind of thing. And I'd make sure AT ALL costs that her and I were never the last to leave after closing, even if it meant keeping some poor kid there long after they finsihed their own closing duties.
Then, I left retail and I didn't see her again for a few years.
I ran into her recently and she still drives me up a wall but she's now an adult and not a subordinate.
So, last nights dream. I'm giving her a ride home and she's wearing a short skirt, opaque black thigh high stockings, looking as cute as could be and flirtling like crazy. There's a hotel on the way to drop her off and it occurs to me that it would be a great place for a tryste.
I'm a good boy, even in my dreams. I go to Bryna and ask permission to have said tryste. It's my birthday I tell her. I figure this will work on her and the other woman. I get to have this, it's my birthday.
I describe the skirt and stocking to Bryna. I'm sure that the outfit will be what convinces her to give me her blessing. Like she'll say, "Oh, a short skirt and stocking, well yeah, of course, go for it."
The dream ends before I get my birthday present.
Earlier in the dream I parked my car on the side of the freeway. Not sure if I was out of gas or just decided it was a good place to leave my car. I had 24 hours to get it back. When I got back it was gone. There was art all over the shoulders of the freeway. Some kind of art in public places thing. Metal sculptures of the sort my friend and neighbor Gale does. Steve V. had some sculpture that loosely incorporated his motorcycle. His motorcyle was on the freeway and was art. My vehicle had been towed. Some symbolism there I'm sure. I went to some office full of beaurocratic goings on and told them it had only been 23 hours, even though I wasn't sure this was true, I figure it was unlikely that my vehicle got tagged within the first hour of my leaving it.
A woman working there was helpful in getting my car back. I think there were cars parked in hallways in the building but they were being replaced by metal sculptures as well, just as on the freeway.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Moths and Crickets in my back.

Trying to do the dishes. Not wearing a shirt. The moth keeps landing on my back, on the small scab where I had a pimple or scratched a mole. I bat the moth away, and I pull crickets out of the hole in my skin. The moth is putting the crickets there. They are crickets which will grow into moths.

I invented a new art form in my sleep

I was the monster. The way it worked is that the monster would go into a cafe or restaurant, unexpected and scare people. The other band members would already be there, including two Japanese school girls whose job is to scream and run around. The musicians in the band would start a song to the monster. "Monster, we know you're hungry, but you can't eat these people. These are important people." The song describes each person in the restaurant, making up details about them. From there, it becomes a full musical. Each person gets their own song building on the made up details we assigned them. The monster sings his own song. There is an antagonistic who gets eaten.
And in the dream this was an established form of entertainment in Japan. It had a three syllable name with a k and an h and a j but I don't remember the name. We were the first folks to bring this art form to the states.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Zombies again, sort of...

The whole town was evacuating due to the Zombie attack. I hadn't seen any zombies but civil disorder was a bigger concern for the moment. I wanted to take off, but I wanted to have my bike. I went to the Zimmerman offices to get it. Some thugs saw me go in and followed me. I pretended not to be into the bike. Telling them there was much better stuff in the inner office if we could get through the doors. "Oh we can get through the doors." they started breaking the locks. I grabbed my bike and split.
I met a girl who was Laura from some dumb tv show that Bryna watches, Rescue Me. Laura joined me in heading up the mountain. Then we found a kid. Now the kid was with us too. I was a dog who seemed trapped on a ledge by a river. I lowered my body down, thinking the dog could climb up me and get free. As I was doing this very dangerous thing the kid just wandered around this trail I hadn't seen and called the dog who came right up easily. I felt silly and climbed back up. It was getting dark and I realized we'd been very foolish letting it get dark without preparing for the night.
I woke up several times during the dream but always went right back into it. One time I even named things in my bedroom trying to get a lock on where I was, on the real world. Still I went back into it. I imagined a small shed with a tin roof and figured we'd sleep on the roof. Zombies can't climb and people wouldn't see us up there. Sometime after that I woke up. The residue of the dream stayed with me for a the first few hours of the day.

Scott S and The New Apartment

Last night, restless, went to bed depressed and dreamt of Bloom County all night. I think I was dreaming that I was righting it.
Then toward morning dreamt that Bryna and I were moving into a bigger apartment. The walls were old peeling paint, the carpet disgusting brown Brillo, but lots of space. I don't know if we were getting along. Not necessarily fighting but not real close and cozy. Scott S was coming over to visit. I was thinking Scott S. was some Chicken John, snooty SF guy, though I was picturing the real Scott S, a Sacramento guy, who thoroughly dislikes me. I guess I was juxtaposing to snooty guys, both of whom run (or ran) venues, though in real life Chicken John has nothing against me and wouldn't even really recognize my name or face. Anyway, Scott S shows up with a friend who has some crazy welded together two person bike thing. Neither of them say high to me as they ascend the back step of the apartment building. I follow them in, thinking I should have invited at least one of the guys who were hanging out on our back porch (Ben or some Craig Usher, another local guy who reminds me of Scott S butt he's really nice.) I go back but they're all gone. I go into my apartment. Scott's friend is racing an over sized bike pulling to trailers up and down our hall. He still doesn't acknowledge me. I don't know where Bryna is, but I imagine she's chatting with Scott on a porch somewhere. Our aparment has so many doors that when you open 'em all it's almost like you're outside. We have a way long closet with a toilet and sink at the end of it, maybe a tub, I don't remember. I decide that we don't need such a big closet and then with a little work it can be an extra room for guests (mostly our nephew Antonio.) I notice then that their is a room, and then the closet. Now if only there were another entrance to the bathroom. I wash my hands which for some reason have grease all over 'em. I'm looking at my tatoos, regretting having them, and thinking about how much of a dork I'll look like to Scott S with my dumb tatoos. I go to find him and Bryna and I wake up, relieved to not actually have any tattoos. Yay.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Last night:
Wasn't quite fighting with Bryna, just wanted to stay somewhere else for a night. rented room in a place that looked like a cheap downtown motel on the outside but was kind of themed on the inside. My rooms was tiny like a closet and all frilly with pink ruffles and crowded and cluttered and the bed was tiny and I realized that two of the walls were actually just sheets and one came down and in the next room, just loading in, were two of the lesbians I met at Tina's wedding. They said hello and were very friendly. I really wanted to go to sleep but didn't think I could get comfortable in this crowded room.

Later, after waking up to the rain really coming down, I was dreaming that the rain washed away a bunch of internet stuff for The Coexist Comedy Tour, including Tissa's myspace page. I was repairing her page and she wanted to make sure Junior was on her friend's list as she thought he was the coolest. (She's never heard of Junior in real life I'm sure.)

Dreaming about hookers, they were around for some reason, a bunch of them in really great costumes. One in a mostly red outfit, another in mostly yellow, etc. and then after they were gone dreaming about fantasizing about having sex with them or was I dreaming about actually having sex with them. Lines blured. The sex was standing, maybe anal, with the one in yellow.

Day before that:
I had a pet. It was a Big water puppy/monster from The Host. Creature was playful and LOVED to rock out to cheesy hair rock and I was thinking "Wow, I've actually had conversations with this creature? Haven't I?" It was very sweet and liked to be pet but was also a bit intimidating, I wasn't sure that it wouldn't bite. Watching it work it's way out if it's tank that was barely bigger than it was. Later it had glass stuck to it's skin. I carefully picked the glass off. Was the glas from it's tank?

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Poke in the eye

At a backyard BBQ. There's a guy there who seems a-lot like Chad (who I'm currently on tour with) but he's bigger and he's not Chad.
I flick something off my leg and it hits him in the eye, really gets him good.
He's not happy.
I apologize. He sort of accepts my apology. A while late, the incident fogotten, I toss him something. It hits him in the same eye. He's now really pissed. I tell him I'm sorry. I over do it. I jump up but he would just as soon I get away from him.
The BBQ was being hosted by Jerry Perry and Linda Perry. They showed me inside their apartment. It was all burnt out and flooded and devoid of light and there was meat everywhere, like they were in the meat business.
I went back outside. I thought a bug was on me, a swatted it. It was just a piece of bark. It hit the dude in the eye. "Okay, I'm not even gonna tell you I'm sorry, because you won't believe me, I'm just gonna leave. but I am sorry. I'll go now."
"Yeah, that's a good idea, GO!"
He's really mad now, and I'm thinking this may mean a fight at some time in my future. I wonder if I should go ahead and fight him now, while I've already got his vision blurry, but I decide this won't spare me another fight later so I leave.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Thee Nights catch up

Kept waking up, stressed, trying to get Mick Jagger's contract worked out in a way that everyone would agree with. Had to actually tell myself "You Don't Know Mick Jagger or The Stones! You have nothing to be stressed about. Go TO SLEEP!" It didn't work.

Next night. Dreamt of Q-Tips. I was getting so much yellow gunk from my ears, even a little brown and then some blood. Decided to be gentle with the blood. Told Bryna about it. Asked her not to freak out.

Last night. Long, luxurious blow job. Finally finsihing with a hand job, cock held gently against her breasts.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Bryna and I are lyin' in bed and our west facing window is as wide as the wall it's on and almost half as tall. Bryna's reading and I tell her to look at the amazing round patterns the clouds are making, like a cloud mandalla. Everytime she looks though they're in a comparitively boring formation.
Finally I get her to look and keep looking. She sees the amazing patterns. A tunnel clowd forms and comes toward us. It's hailing hard. We get the windows shut. The tunnel clowd goes down the alley next to our house. Things start to calm down. It's really cool. We cuddle.

I'm on a boat. A mans explaining that when you see this certain kind of shark you tell your divers not to go in the water. But if there already on the way in, expect to be taking them home without limbs. And like we're illustrating the point with no option to follow the advice, everyon on the boat jumps in. I think to myself that I'm not supposed to be amongst the divers. I manage to get back in the boat whole, along with with one other person. Then everyon else starts climbing in with missing legs. There is no blood. It's as if the shark carefully amputated and cotterized the legs in some undersea operating room.
I was rowing the boat back with my hands and hoping we had an engine or something. Than I notice the one other guy with all his limbs in tact has oars. Cool. I'd help, but dang, just one set of oars.

Later in a different dream in a different universe it would seem, I'm at a funeral. My co-workers are there. My coworkers are mostly related to each other, a large Mexican family and we've actually attended quite a number of funerals with them. A cute little white girl is talking on a microphone and I'm seeing if any of my coworkers need a lift. I try to comfort the younger woman from my office and her friend (or sister?), but they seem to want me to piss off as if I have no business even talking to 'em. There's som odd tension of me finding them very attractive.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Black Furry Pillows

Walking out of an antique/junk store. Walking with a pretty asian girl who doesn't speak english and her hip caucasion boyfriend who just doesn't speak.
Then there's an old asian women there, the girl's mother, and her and I make jokes and trade stories and laugh and put my hands on her shoulders and the city is pretty and I'm happy.
I get to an apartment buidling with many little apartments and the girl and her bf live there and so do. She is suddenly on the second floor and she gets my attention and throw me down a black furry pillow and points up. She wants to go sit on pillows on the roof.
I tell her I have to introduce her to my girlfriend first and I don't know if she understands but she walks with me towards Bryna and I's apartment. She gets in the elevator which is right next to my apartment. It's a cool old elevator with a black iron gate. On her way into the elevator she bumps into Emily W. and Emily doesn't acknowledge her. I try to introduce Emily, proud of my correct pronunciation of the girl's name and Emily says in an impatient tone, "I'm not in a state to meet anyone!"
I follow Emily into my apartment. it's one small room. Bryna's on the bed shaving her legs and the little apartment is full of girls, Emily, Chris, Bryna's sisters. They all seem angry. It's Bryna's birthday. I want to get away from the negativity.
I ask Bryna to come meet my friend. We walk into the hall and the girl has let the elevator gate shut. She opens it when she sees us. She's standing at the back of the elevator. I introduce her to Bryna and I wake up.


Dream I was an extra on some movie set. A blonde girl was snobby to me. I pushed her and her friend to the ground, but it didn't seem like a violent act because they just sort of floated down. I didn't take off my cloths or their but I was able to start having sex with her, sort of. I wasn't very hard and she was making snotty comments about the fact that I couldn't even rape her right, such a loser am I. I managed to hold her and her friend down at the same time. They were too bored to fight it.

I woke up.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Working Backwards

So last night, Bart Simpson is hanging out with a Pirate. The pirate ties a rope around Bart's waist allowing Bart to float up above the flying pirate ship. A cloud formed around or behind bart that was shaped like a dragon. Bryna comments to me what a beautiful image this is. The cloud solidifies and darkens. Bart is now encased in a black, cloud-dragon suit. He lands on the deck of the ship and the pirates attack him. He knocks pirates aside easily. When he gets to the pirate that tied the rope around his waist, the Pirate Captain, approaches Bart who he's come to love like a son. He reaches out to Bart while commanding the other pirates not to hurt the boy. Bart swats at the captain and lays him open. The big gashes appear across the pirates torso. He looks at Bart, hurt, betrayed, with big sad eyes. Bart continues being a dragon.

The dream shifts. I'm now walking with a kid across a field It's very dark. I push him to the ground and duck down with him. I hear a zombie shuffling by us. The hope is that we can remain very quiet and still and go undetected by the moaning shuffling ghoul.

Another shift. I'm with James, my little brother. He's about 16 or 17. I'm about 21 or 22. He's dating a woman my age. I check out her ass. I think to myself that it's that certain shape that doesn't age well.

Yesterday I dreamt that I was hugging Bryna to me tight, and kissing her. The dream shifted and I was lying on top of her. We were in to winter clothes. I told her I wanted it to stay cold that I was looking forward to to making love to her in her winter clothes.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Playing Catch Up yet again

Crazy old house, full of clutter. It's an amazing, ornate house but everything is aged. The paint, the floor, the rugs, all look very old. I live there as do lots of other folks it seems, including Bryna and some friend of ours. An uptight old lady owns the house. The old lady pushes us out somehow. There are tears and such as we prepare to move, I think we're going to stay at my mom's while we look for a place. I curse the old lady out. She seems unfazed. Cursing her out starts to feel really pointless and unsatisfying.

I'm riding my bike. I round a corner and some other guy who was already riding in the direction I'm now heading is awkwardly close to me but we're going the same speed. I can't go any faster and I don't want to slow down. The bike becomes a car and the guy is now in the car and he is Patton Oswalt, the comedian, though he wasn't Patton Oswalt when we were on bikes. I'm trying to get to day care to pick up my nephew Antonio but trains and whatever else are block my way. Patton grabs teh wheel and turns it, sending us down an alley that runs alongside the train. We get to Antonio's day car and I'm told he had an accident in his pants. They gave him other pants to wear but it seems they didn't clean his soiled pair instead just shoving them in his back pack. The back pack is a teddy bear and it smells like shit and I tell Antonio that since Patton Oswlat is in the car he's going to have to hang the bears ass out the window. I really want to make a good impression on Patton but he seems like a cool, really down to earth guy and I'm afraid of seeming like I'm trying too hard.

Had a dream while in LA that I was feeling up some short girl with big, badly done fake breasts.

Patton Oswalt in my car, picking up Antonio, bear back pack smells pooey.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

catching up

So a couple of nights ago I was a girl, and I was playing and running around and then I bumped into something and instantly all fun is gone and all adults are focused on me and concerned and apparently I'm some manner of hemophiliac or something and my mom puts me in the shower and the cold water and the pruning up of my skin should help me stop bleeding apparently but I never really bleed that much anyway from this little scrape and then I'm not the girl, I'm me, and I'm writing a script about this strange girl in the dark red and purple checked dress and I'm trying to decide what to do next.
And I'm in a house with Bryna and Bryna's in the garage and her father has died (in reality he died many years ago) and she's smoking. And I want to care for her having lost her father and I don't want to respond to her smoking at such a moment but it's hard to pretend that I'm not very upset and I don't want to be with her it she's going to be a smoker and it's lame and I wake up.


Let's see if I can get this all down.

Walking with Bryna. Stopping at guys house, nice house, I think the guy is an internet friend or something. His roommate is a girl from France or Germany or somewhere that gives her an adorable accent and Bryna is impressed with a collection of ceramic blocks about the size of dominoes with a painting on each block.
There are some frogs and one frog does something wrong so I discipline him by setting him in one spot and telling him to stay but he doesn't stay and so he has to go back in his cage. It occurs to me as I'm doing it that punishing a frog may be pointless. Then we're on the run. We have the frogs, and there are people after us, military and police and such.
The nice guy with the roommate and nice house is leading our activities and we have a cantankerous old man with us in a separate truck. We pull over and the nice guy puts the frogs in the back of the old man's truck where he's towing some kind of crazy equipment. The old man complains about everything and seems by his very posture critical of all we do but he's loyal regardless particularly to the nice guy. As nice guy puts the frogs back with the crazy equipment it occurs to me that there's something unusual about these frogs and that they are why we're being pursued. He explains that now the frogs sent will be pumped back toward our pursuers.
It must work. We're no longer pursued. Now we're touring with a musical act. And a very shy girl who seems a-lot like Chelsea Wolfe (a local musician who was in a show I MC'd last night is a member of a folk band. I'm back stage. Chelsea and another girl go onstage. It's a big stage in a big hall. The girls stand behind a set piece of some sort so that can't be seen. In front of this barrier is a guy singer or maybe two. Now it seems we're in Japan and the Japanese hosts have arrange for a bevy of naked dancer/back up singers to flood that stage and they're quite adorable and as one could imagine quite surprising and surreal to our folks singers.

And then I'm driving a diesel to southern California with my friend Steve Ogden in the passenger seat. It's hard to drive the diesel and I feel like I'm about to run into someone. I keep telling myself that many other people do it so I'm sure I can. My visibility is reducing. I don't really see the road. I just see sky, or I see the road off in the distance but not right in front of me as if I'm floating above it. Steve is yelling for me to get over and I try but I end up going right down the center of a fork in the road and now we're falling. I panic and try to wake up. I fail at waking up but I succeed at realizing that this is a dream and trusting that I can enjoy it and not worry about really dying. The diesel lands on a freeway below and we keep driving. Steve is pissed and I offer him the solution which is me not driving anymore. We exit the freeway and are in a big city that seems to be all made of red brick. There is no city like this between Sac and southern California in real life. Steve wants to stop here for a big flea market.

Allen is there and when we park I explain why I couldn't drive right, how my visibility went all crazy and that I guess I can't drive diesels. Allen chimes in that I'm full of shit, that I can't drive anything. I want to punch allen in the mouth. Steve's going into a giant truckstop that advertises lots of porn. I want some porn but I don't want anyone to know I'm buying. I see a little tiny tube on the ground. It's a porn dvd rolled up like a joint. I put it in my pocket and I'm happy, I've got porn.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

two dreams in one night.

I'm in an apartment, my mom's old town house I think. My mom and dad are there and Bryna also. Bryna has been being stalked and harassed by someone and while my parents and I were upstairs he apparently showed up, walked right in my mom's house from the back yard. He's getting increasingly brazen and Bryna's getting really freaked out but she still hasn't really gotten a good look at him.
Two cops knock on the door. One of them is really huge, almost a giant. Bryna's reacting like he might be the creep that's been harassing her. I notice they're uniforms are only rent a cop outfits. When big dude stroked Bryna's hair, we knew it was him. I go nuts, I curse at him and I push him out of the house. once Outside, out Bryna and my parent's view, work him over with a baseball bat. His friend won't get close lest I bat him too. I go back inside. I apologize to my mom for cursing. I got upstairs and get into bed, peeking out the window to see if there's more trouble coming. I feel like I'm hiding from what happened.

I'm working at a convenience store. Next door is a 7-11. Nobody's working there. I'm kind of managing both. I work all night. I finally have to go across the street for something. When I come back the manager's at 7-11. He looks at me dissapointed. I explain that I'm trying to watch both stores and I don't even work at 7-11, they just forgot to schedule someone. I go next door. The boss is there too. He's cool. A strange man who looks like a middle eastern Mario (from the video games). He wears a green plastic net on his head that looks like fake seaweed. He gives me a big bottle of wine, a big bottle of tequila. he's very thankful that I stayed all night. I put back the tequila.
I walk home. It's a long walk and I worry I took the wrong way but I think it out and I know the main thorough fairs will get me home. I pass a neighborhood, folsom and 18th ave (doesn't exist in real life). I was in this cool little neighborhood in another dreams when my sweetie and I went for a walk and found the Old I annex. i think to myself that Bryna and I should come back and hang out here sometime.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Open heart surgery and a drug fiend

Open heart surgery with only a local anesthetic. In fact, I was sitting up durring the procedure. The anesthetic made it not hurt, but I could still feel the scalpel cutting deep into my chest. My heart was on the right side of my body in the dream rather than centrally located.
Later I was explaining to my mom that it was no big deal. Immediately after the surgery I was up and about.
I was walking home from my mom's and I saw a guy trembling and sweating profusely in a parking lot. He was wild eyed and disheveled. I continued walking. Later I saw a young girl looking very scared but trying not to react, not wanting to give the boogie man the attention he needs to exist I guess, as the trembling guy was noisily approaching her from behind. I watched and I don't think he was heading for her intentionally. He was running and puking. He had on only a pair of tattered pants. He was thin and muscular and completely fucked.
When he noticed the girl he did turn his attention to her so I called his attention to me. He started following me and the girl ran in the opposite direction. Now Bryna was with me. We reached our apartment building and walked the long hallway to our front door. (We've never lived in a building like this in reality.) I told Byrna she should go inside and let me deal with the crazy. She did so, and I started running. Crazy ran too, and then I jumped on the ground and let him trip over me hard. I got up and was going to go into my apartment. My neighbor came out and he was a short very serious macho type. If I was going to really take care of this situation like I should, he would just have to do it for me and see that crazy was out of the building.
Of course I should have just let him, but I didn't want to be looked down on. I ran again, toward the exit of the building but when I dropped down this time crazy guy just stepped right over me. So, I shoved him out of the building and told him he had to go and I acted like and animal myself, lunging at him and growling 'til he looked like a confused puppy. I went back inside and he didn't follow.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Couple of Dreams

Two nights in a row dreaming about my apartment where I live.
In the first Bryna discovers a door that goes to a really nice balcony/porch off our house. The view is delightuf. She's sitting out there smoking. This is the first time I've had a dream with her smoking where it seemed normal and I got upset since she quit 8 months ago.
We check out the porch and it's pretty flimsy. Then we notice it's not attached to the main building and just sits up on stilts. It sways in the wind and I suggest it should be attached and that it's probably not safe for now.
Later, I'm in the house and bryna standing on a small platform that's a few steps higher than the porch. I don't recall this being there before but I tell Bryna to be careful. Just then she loses her footing and steps onto the porch right into a small tub of chemically stuff, maybe cleaning stuff, I'm not sure. She slips in the tup and falls off the porch. I run toward the porch but its too late for me to do anything. I see her fall, and she lands on one shoulder and rolls, the way one would ideally if falling off a skate board. It seems like she'd be okay.
I run with all my might to get to down the stairs and to her. Her eyes are open and she seems okay when I get there. I'm so relieved. I hug her and a strange rumbling low howl is coming out of me for a long time. I see me feeling this emotion but it's like I"m watching if from afar and I think she'll be okay and it's good that she sees how much I love her. The howl turns to sobs and I wake up.

Then last night I dream that our new neighbor has a mini motor home that doesn't run and pushes it way from her driveway like she's all done with it. Bryna guesses that she's coming from a bad situation. She tells me that groups that help people escape bad situations will often give them a camper or motor home to live in until they get a job and can afford an apartment.
I think the mini-motor home is the coolest thing ever and I push it into our backyard. I sit in it and plan how we could be comfortable in it, watching movies on my laptop. I know I'm supposed to be inside helping with the house but it's just too cool.

Friday, May 11, 2007

catching up again

My parents are still together, dad's bbq-ing in back yard, for some reason my mom asks me to say grace, I do it, real quicklike. Later I'm explaining to a pastor friend that I said grace. Something happens with me and my brother Edward, a fight or something. Later he gives me a hug, a real stiff awkward sort of hug and I cry and then I tell him that I have a ridiculously high need for my brothers' approval, but I always do such dumb things when they're around. He tells me that he's not much for hugging and such. He tells me that it's been a few months since we've hugged and years since we danced?

Earlier Dreams that I didn't record:
I'm running down the street and I'm not satisfied with how fast I can move so I turn into a wolf to run faster. I worry someone'll see me so I turn back to me, but I get frustrated again so I turn back to a wolf. The city is beautiful. I get home and there's my friend's kid, Ella, at the top of my stairs waiting to go in. I go to get the door and a dog charges us. I drop to the ground and kick the dog in the head as he leaps at Ella. He recovers and leaps again and I pin him to the ground with my foot on his throat.

My little brother is a Sea Monkey. He starts to get embarrassed walking around being stared at. I take him to Target to buy him some clothes.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Breaking Up over Smoking

I dreamt again that Bryna had gone back to smoking. At first just a cigarette here and there, then I saw her with a pack, but a slim sort of half sized pack. I told her she was back to smoking, that she was just stepping right back into being a full time pack a day smoker. She told me that she was fine, that she enjoyed having a cigaretter here and there. She seemed so non-challant about it all. She made for the door, so as to smoke in the backyard. I yelled, some sort of gutteral growl. I got a hold of myself. I practically begged, "Please. You can throw that pack out and start over right now." She wasn't interested. I implied that I couldn't stay with her if she kept smoking. She was not affected and accused me of threatening to break up with her over other trivial matters. I argued that this was not true.

My nephew Antonio, who hadn't been in the dream up til now came into our room and asked me what was wrong. I walked him to a second room and tucked him into bed. I told him everything was fine.

She went out back. Our back yard was gorgeous, lush and green. I could see her out there well because our second story bedroom had half walls and no cieling. It was more like a porch but it was fully furnished as a bedroom. I called my mom and I was really upset, sobbing and shaking. I felt like I had to leave Bryna but I didn't want to and I felt like our impending wedding made this more complicated. I looked up and there were white birds flying about and they looked very pretty against the black sky, but the site of them made me a little nervous.

I woke up alone in my bed. Bryna had fallen asleep on the couch. I went and woke her and asked her to come to bed with me. She did. It was a hard dream to shake.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


I dreamt I was in Tehran. At first it was Bryna and I visiting but then it was Jonathan and I there on some manner of business. Mostly though I walked around by myself and I really love walking around by myself in a strange city.

The room we were staying in was on the second floor and had window that hung out over the sidewalk, like a bay window, and the floor of the window was glass so you could look through it and watch people going by. The owner of the hotel asked me how to become a nicer hotel. I gave him advice about painting and buying really good beds and bedding. He was a nice guy.

I was at a cafe and it was so foggy that I couldn't see for more than a half block in either direction. It was incredibly pretty. I'm guessing they don't really get much fog in Tehran, but what do I know? I was overwhelmed with emotion, even cried a little, at the just how pretty everything was. I wanted to call my mom and tell her how amazing it was but I worried that she'd just be scared to death of me being in Iran.

Later I was walking back to the hotel and it was sunny and it just hit me that I was so far from home and it was really exciting. I got back to the hotel and went up to the roof, six stories up. It was a cool view, but the elevator went down after I got out of it and there was no way to call it back. I was afraid that I'd look suspicious up on the roof but I looked around and lots of folks were on their roofs. The back of the building the roof wasn't to far from the ground, like it was built on a very steep hill. Then the front wasn't to far either, faulty dream logic. I woke after hopping down from the roof.

A couple of nights ago I dreamt that I trained a baby or mini elephant, sit, stay, etc.