; Dreams

Just your basic dream journal. I will attempt to record all of my dreams here, no matter how mundane or humiliating they may be.
Keep in mind, I wake up and crawl to the computer and write these before coffee, tea or anything so yeah, they're a mess. Enjoy.

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Location: Sacramento, California, United States

Sea Monkey devotee since childhood.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Breaking Up over Smoking

I dreamt again that Bryna had gone back to smoking. At first just a cigarette here and there, then I saw her with a pack, but a slim sort of half sized pack. I told her she was back to smoking, that she was just stepping right back into being a full time pack a day smoker. She told me that she was fine, that she enjoyed having a cigaretter here and there. She seemed so non-challant about it all. She made for the door, so as to smoke in the backyard. I yelled, some sort of gutteral growl. I got a hold of myself. I practically begged, "Please. You can throw that pack out and start over right now." She wasn't interested. I implied that I couldn't stay with her if she kept smoking. She was not affected and accused me of threatening to break up with her over other trivial matters. I argued that this was not true.

My nephew Antonio, who hadn't been in the dream up til now came into our room and asked me what was wrong. I walked him to a second room and tucked him into bed. I told him everything was fine.

She went out back. Our back yard was gorgeous, lush and green. I could see her out there well because our second story bedroom had half walls and no cieling. It was more like a porch but it was fully furnished as a bedroom. I called my mom and I was really upset, sobbing and shaking. I felt like I had to leave Bryna but I didn't want to and I felt like our impending wedding made this more complicated. I looked up and there were white birds flying about and they looked very pretty against the black sky, but the site of them made me a little nervous.

I woke up alone in my bed. Bryna had fallen asleep on the couch. I went and woke her and asked her to come to bed with me. She did. It was a hard dream to shake.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi.. your dream is actually my reality with my partner. And its funny.. when he started smoking again.. its as your dream describes where he told me that its just a cigarette here or there, but within a week it became a full-blown habit of smoking a cigarette every 20-30 mins. I don't want to break up with him...but I know I can't imagine a future with someone who smokes. I might as well be dating a dead person... as some day he could get cancer or have health problems as he ages that come from his bad habits. I am torn... all I want is for him to quit smoking.. and then I can commit myself to him. I love him, but there are just some things I can't live with. He has insinuated that I would choose to end things over something trivial. But, its not trivial if the smell or kiss or touch of my partner turns me off because, of the smell and taste of an ashtray. Since he started smoking our sex life is pretty much non-existent. I won't let him kiss me or touch me in the same way. Its such a nasty, disgusting habit.

I don't know what do.

4:11 AM  
Anonymous generic cialis said...

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9:50 PM  

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