Trying to find somewhere private, in a big house, I think my family's there. I find an empty bedroo, brightly sunlit. I start jerkin' off. My dick is ridiculously long but only normal thickness. Nothings happening. I grab a magazine. It's bondage porn, and it's pretty hot. I notice the blinds are open and wonder if anyone saw me. I close the blinds but I dont' finish what I was doing.

Woody Allen is filming a movie in front of the house. I watch as he, in character, chases an actress off of scaffolding. It seems very unpleasant for the actress and dangerous and hostile. Woody Allen's hosting a big event. To get there we haveto climb over an immense mound of garbage, taller than a house and as big as a quarter of a city block. I'm barefoot and Becca's with me. When we get to the end I realize there is a layer of live pigs holding up garbage on their backs.

At the even which is some kind of film screening my Dad says lots of dumb homophobic stuff. I apologize to cousin' Isa who is there with gay friend. I apologize to this black girl that I don't even know who I assumed was there with Isa, explaining that my dad's there with his best friend, a black man named Harold and the two of them are terrible when they're together but neither is racist at all. She says "I'm sorry, I dont' have time to catch up, I'll be right back." I feel stupid when I realize I'm talking to a total stranger who has no idea what I'm yammering on about.

I was warned that it wans't a good car, too light, would float right of the road. And so it did. I could only propell it forward or impose my will upon the direction it travelled when it set it's wheels on the pavement, briefly. I tried to take it through a fast food restaurant and got frustrated when it kept floating up to hight to place my order. I decided to go through the drive through, turn around and try again. Oddly there were for or five lanes to the drivethrough, each with their own ordering box and window, much like a gas station.

"They get mad if you drive through and they won't sell you food." whoever it was that sat in the car wiht me warned.

I dismissed his adviced, jolted forward when the wheels gripped the pavement for a moment. I was getting the hang of maneuvering the vehicle but when I pulled back into the drive through they did indeed refuse me service.

I parked and now it was Patrick, the young guy I work with, who was with me. We went looking for food in the strip mall full of knock off clothing shops and dollar discount stores.

I was gettting frustrated with not being able to find food. I did find some sweater shirts. Most were almost what I liked but too brown and with too many geometric patterns that were busy and asymetrical.

I found one that wasn't too bad and now had to put it on with the same urgency I had felt about eating moments ago. I got my dirty shirt off, wearing only my undershirt and then went to put the new sweater shirt on when a kid running by tried to grab it from me. I held on and looked the would be thief in the eye.

"I need it more than you." he excused his behavior.

"I need it enough to be standing here putting it on in the middle of the damn street."

He ran off.

That's it.


YEsterday I was so tired I took a quick nap on the couch at work. I dreamt I was playing video games on a big screen. It was some kind of competition.

Dreamt I was with my family at a cabin up in the mountains. My friend Christian was there and we went for a walk. Christian had to go to the bathroom so we went in to this old store, that was closed and empty now. There was a bathroom. As Christian went in to use it I noticed that someone was using the store as a home. A dirty guy with glasses and a Billy Bob Thorton grin came out of one of the closets. I explained that I didn't know anyone lived there and so we were using the bathroom. He was cool about it.

When Christian came out he was no longer Christian, he was now my friend Jonathan and he said something that upset the guy, though he didn't seem to have said much beyond, "I was just taking a shit." We ran from the dude and we were climbing down a rocky hill. The hill ended in a cliff and so we started kind of sliding down these tall skinny trees with few branches. we reached the bottom and went into a cool little store with a few picnic benches inside. Probably a-lot like the other store had been like at one time. The guy with the glasses came in and recognized me. Jonahtan had become Patrick (Junior) and the guy didn't recognize him. I explained that I don't know what my friend said, but we really were just using the bathroom. The guy was cool with me, but apparently still upset with my friend. Patrick kept really quiet glad the guy didn't recognize him.

Performing and Carl's vodka

Doing a show at a home, with a living room set up like a theatre. Performing with Tapan and Brent (as I did a few weeks back.) 1st show, goes okay.
2nd show, looks to be sold out, seats all full, but when I get on the audience is all out back bbqing and smoking. I try to entertain the two or three people sitting down but it's too noisey to hold their attention. I'm stammering, lost, pulling out my cheat sheet to find where I'm at. Tapan calls, and won't be making it!?!! I keep trying.
A woman want her money back because she missed the first comedian, me. I tell her no, the headliners still coming up and it's not our fault she was out in bbqing.

the dream jumps and Allen and I are sitting on a curb. A guy's unloading a truck and Allen says we should get up and help him. Next thing we're at some weird space that's been used as an apartment but it's more like the offices at a warehouse or a tow yard or something.I'm unloading a cabinet or refrigerator full of mostly empty alcohol bottles. Allen tells me this is where Carl and Ian lived before moving over to Allen's warehouse. I call Carl to tell him I'm in his old place and he tells me one of the Vodka bottles is mostly full. I find the bottle he means. I put it aside for him.

sex dream

Little disturbing, but I'll put it down. Quit reading this ya nosey bastard.
Part one, sex with my girl, another girl (aint saying who) there to finish me off.
2nd girl invites me to slide back and forth between her ass cheeks, which she's lined with a smooth kind of aluminum foil!!!
Dream jumps, and I'm sucking myself off. It doesn't feel good or anything, but I videotape it to prove it happened. This one was so realistic that I really expected to have that video tape when I woke up.

???? Strange.

girl chasing bryna across park. Mad that Bryna doesn't want to do radio performance, since they were assigned to be paired up (like in school). I call the girl a bitch and get a dirty look from the old black lady.
I'm performing, I call up an audience member, I ask him to talk to me out of site of the audience, along with my boss. I"m total hack, making goofy faces behind the dudes back and what not. I ask him to impersonate my boss.
We're looking for something at my office. I get distracted looking at new Playboy in Trish's office, with Janet jackson, who looks awfull.

Hamburger Sea Monkey

Haven't been remembering much, but I know that last night I dreamt that I was at my mom's house, my family around and Neil Hamburger was asking me to open for him in Vegas. I also dreamt that I had lots of baby sea monkeys (my sea monkeys were mating last night.)

Dogs, Zombies, Michael Jackson

Playing with a band. My little brother's the drummer. Michael Jackson's on the bill with us, playing some little backyard party. MJ's drummer doesn't show so my brother sits in.
I go a few blocks to Darin's house where he's fighting some super crazy monster zombie thing. Apparently you buy this thing, like a toy and then you have fun keeping it from killing you. I help Darin kill it and then we bury it. We're pounding on the ground and what not and talking about how we have to make sure it's dead. It was pretty hard to put down, more than Darin bargained for. When Darin's finally satisfied that it's dead he turns his back and I see that the damn things face in unburried and it's alive.

"It's back. I'm outta here." I say. I call the rental company or manufacturer or something and they agree to come get it. I tell Darin he just has to fight it until they get there.

Bryna and I go to some all night diner/bar type place and the guy who runs it, a friend of are apparently, asks us to put down his dog for him. We call the little white French bull dog into the dirty bathroom where we'll kill him. I look at him and he's such a great little dog. I decide we'll take him home. We'll keep him while we find him a good home unless he just works out really good in our place in which case we'll just keep him.