Trying to find somewhere private, in a big house, I think my family's there. I find an empty bedroo, brightly sunlit. I start jerkin' off. My dick is ridiculously long but only normal thickness. Nothings happening. I grab a magazine. It's bondage porn, and it's pretty hot. I notice the blinds are open and wonder if anyone saw me. I close the blinds but I dont' finish what I was doing.

Woody Allen is filming a movie in front of the house. I watch as he, in character, chases an actress off of scaffolding. It seems very unpleasant for the actress and dangerous and hostile. Woody Allen's hosting a big event. To get there we haveto climb over an immense mound of garbage, taller than a house and as big as a quarter of a city block. I'm barefoot and Becca's with me. When we get to the end I realize there is a layer of live pigs holding up garbage on their backs.

At the even which is some kind of film screening my Dad says lots of dumb homophobic stuff. I apologize to cousin' Isa who is there with gay friend. I apologize to this black girl that I don't even know who I assumed was there with Isa, explaining that my dad's there with his best friend, a black man named Harold and the two of them are terrible when they're together but neither is racist at all. She says "I'm sorry, I dont' have time to catch up, I'll be right back." I feel stupid when I realize I'm talking to a total stranger who has no idea what I'm yammering on about.