; Dreams

Just your basic dream journal. I will attempt to record all of my dreams here, no matter how mundane or humiliating they may be.
Keep in mind, I wake up and crawl to the computer and write these before coffee, tea or anything so yeah, they're a mess. Enjoy.

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Location: Sacramento, California, United States

Sea Monkey devotee since childhood.

Friday, November 18, 2005

another bear?

Skateboarding, though i shouldn't be, broken collarbone (in real life and in the dream). Steve Vanoni convinces me to check out the "crazy" party at the horsecow which tuns out to be just a few people in a too big, too empty space. Laurie, who I find imensely cute, is there and she shows me some nude photos of herself, covered in tattoos (that's in the dream only i think). the photos should have won her some competition but didn't.

I go to a house that I'm housesitting and a girl is there on a ride-on lawn mower. She rode over a patch of grass revealing a collection of unharmed cute baby animals. Miniature ducklings, and squirrel and puppies, all so cute, running around looking for more tall grass to hide in.

I then met a fair sized but not full grown bear. He wanted to follow me into the house and when i wouldn't let him he became upset. I barely managed to hold him back as I got the door shut. The girl who had been mowing the lawn let hin in when she came in the house.

The bear was acting crazier and I warned the girl to come hid in the other room while we called animal control. She decided to get the bear out of her house on her own instead. I was in no mood to be heroic and I peeked through the door, ready to pull it shut. She yanked on that bear, pushed that bear kicked that bear, he was going nowhere but he was getting mad, and I think he got a bit bigger too.

The bear got up on his hind legs and showed his big claws and his teeth. Finally the girl came into the room, we shut the door, called animal control and hoped the folks who we were house sitting home weren't coming home too soon.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

the hunters and the teddy bear

Amber and I were driving down the freeway, probably something to do with the comedy troupe, heading to or from a show. We were talking about all the cool stuff you see if you take your time, and to prove the point we took a random exit off the highway.

The exit ramp went into a pond, like a boat launching ramp. The pond was full of hunters with guns and a big old walrus sort of thing.

We were bummed that we were going to see the thing get shot. But then we noticed one of the hunters seemed to really have a way with the walrus. He was touching it's big giant front paws and then it even seemed to be hugging him.

The walrus started to look more and more like a teddy bear. It was rolling on the ground and playing. The pond was gone, and we were now just in a clearing in the woods. A woman had a large animal carrier and several smaller animal were lead into it including a cute little yellow puppy that I had to pick up and bring to her. The teddy bear stood next to the carrier since he couldn't fit in. All the hunters were pleased that this woman from animal control or some such entity was taking care of the teddy bear. I went from being bummed that the hunters were gonna shoot the animal to being dissappointed that they just trusted this woman. That they wanted the warm happy feel good feeling more than they wanted to actually know what was going to happen to the animals. I figured they probably on their way to being euthanized, cynic/skeptic, not able to just enjoy the warm and the fuzzy.

We got back in our car, got a little lost and went into a gas station. As I found some goodies to eat I remembered a time when I was a store where Jean, my old boss from Petco worked. I was stealing stuff just becuase it was her and I knew the rules were that she could call the cops after I left but couldn't touch me.

(The teddy walrus must have been based on seeing an actual seal that I saw while boating in the Sacramento River a couple of weeks ago, very far from his home, happily eating some salmon. The pet-co stealing memory was not a real memory, just a memory in the dream. That it was Amber is not surprising. The comedy troupe is in rehearsals for a big show at the moment. And I'll be taking a road trip soon to go see my family for thanksgiving.)

Monday, November 14, 2005

Couldn't be Drafted

I couldn't be drafted into millitary service. They tried, but found out I already had two bullets in me, so they turned me away. I didn't know I had two bullets in me? Or where they came from.

So I played some strange combination of chess and checkers with my girlfriend in the dark. We could barely see the pieces.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Flying to dads

Fying in a camper shell. I don't know how the camper shell could fly but it was falling apart, losing pieces as it did. Maybe that's why we didn' t fly too high. My dad was pilot. Driving in a car with him is scary enough. Other flying contraptions were all around us. We were on some kind of flying contraption highway. We landed at some crazy new house my dad had bought. After that it all becomes hazy. Some kind of conflict or fight with someone.

What did this one mean? I think I see my family as poor, as coming from a poor neighborhood. We weren't needy, we were just poor people as far as our social standing. Now my dad has a second house and a nice car, my mom lives owns half of a duplex in a gated senior community and she drives a newish car. These three homes are all fairly modest, but it leads me to feel that my family has the trappings of wealth, at least more than before, and increasingly. This is strange to me I guess. Poor is part of my identity. Well at least I'm still poor. I sure hope it lasts, but I'm guessing that that's an almost sure thing. So we fly to his new house, but the flying contraption is white trash and falling apart on us. We don't really belong on this highway but there we are.

Why is it so hard to remember dreams.
I am working on increasing my ability to hold onto the dreams. The bad one stick around.
I'll post some of my more notable dreams from the past soon.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Wine for Carl and Respect for Mom

Allen and I are buying wine, I'm lookng for a bottle for our friend carl to take to the dessert. Allen is reccommending a good red wine. I say I'd like to get chocolate wine, as the dessert is the only place where chocolate wine tast good. I end up getting this little bottle of chocolate selzer water.
The shop where we're getting the wine it busy and crowded with a high counter that runs the width of the back of the store and is more like an old, beat up version of a bank teller set up than a shop counter.
The next part of the dream I'm at my mom's place and my nephew Antonio is my brother in the dream, my much younger brother. He says something snotty to my mom and then he makes an aggressive gesture toward her. I'm appalled and also concerned that my mother is much older and if this isn't nipped in the bud it's going to be a big problem. I grab him and dump him in bed telling him that's it for him for the night. He cries and I explain to hiim that as he gets older and sees more of the world he's going to realize what a great mom we have but for now he's got to take my word for it and respect our mom.
I woke up late for work.

Had a dream earlier in the night which woke me up. Concerned that I'd lose it, I sat there and recapped the details of it in my head. I remember doing that, but still do not remember the details of the damn dream.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Big crowded toy store. And there it is. The Nintendo Enertainment System. The original. Comes with one cartridge, Super Mario Brothers. Used- $20.
I'm checking it out and two guys are telling me this and that about it, because we all know about it, it's our childhood. And my girlfriend tells me it's good that I'm wearing white, for Christmas?

I had another dream ealier in the evening, I woke up at like 4am from it. It was a fight dream. I'm trying to remember it now...

Monday, November 07, 2005

Visiting Becca

Read cometbus about swiss alps trip before bed.

The Dream: Visiting Becca at new place. She warns that other guests, hippies, have just been and were awful.
Male roommates are two best friends, geeky, stand offish, inventors, kind of neat but not too warm and fuzzy. It's the two fo them against the world. I try to be polite as they tell me how bad the hippies were. (Maybe like guys in chat room yesterday)
House is HUGE, beautiful, amazing. I notice a room at the end of the house with glass walls and cieling, almost like a green house but less utilitarian, and I'm surprised it's not the living room. It's the female roommates bedroom.
She is weird. Bossy, strange, socially inept but trying so hard to put on an heir of being in control and comfortable. (just like Jean, my old boss at PetCo)
I go to Becca's room, nice big room, private bath, to take a shower. I'm walking around naked when I realize that this is not such a good idea as she could come in to the room at any time. Unlike real life, I don't feel modest, but I don't wish to offend anyone else's modesty.
I get in the shower, and it's in a bathroom with a glass wall looking into a gorgeous japanese garden wtih a pond and HUGE koi one of whom is walking around outside the water with a dog I recognize from some painting. The dog is distorted and weird. I'll try to find the painting.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

A note from my subconcious concerning this blog

I've not been remembering my dreams long enough to write them down these last few days. It is of course because I started this journal. My damn subconscious must be against it. A note from my subconsious:

You dumb ass. Why can't you enjoy the little movie I give you and then let it fade as intended. The important parts, the parts that should stick around will, or else I'll just re-insert the into future dreams. I've done good so far, lots of cool deja-vus, some right trippy dreams, and I've even served as your Jimminy Cricket pushing you to do the right thing by scaring the shit out of you when you face a moral dilemna.
Can you just leave it be and appreciate it? No, of course not. So you'll write down every little dream, preserve it all, over analyze it. Well screw you. You get nothing. I'll do the necessary clean up and maintainence I need to do, a defrag now and then, a bit of waste removal, but I'm wiping the tapes out within minutes of you waking up, before you've even had your coffee or thought about touching your precious little lap top, you horses ass.
Good night,
You subconcious mind"

If I dont' remember tommorrows dream I'll just write about some oldies that I have kicking around.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

The girl and the documentary

The fist thing I remember of last night dream was driving a girl home and she was telling me she was in love with me and crying. She was very tall and probably based on a girl I knew in high school. I was wondering if there was a way to enjoy some physical intimacy with this girl while still doing right by my girlfriend. It occured to me that my girlfriend and I were not the only players here and the this girl was wanting more than I could offer, even if I had clearance from my girlfriend to do whatever I wanted, which I didn't. I started the "I'm flattered, but I'm not right for you. You'll find someone who is speech."

The dream jumps forward to me doing a documentary on something. There were costumes and skateboards and some sense that it was related to my panhandling documentary. I was shooting all kinds of footage of a large crowd of friends and something in the air had the feeling of a big event coming up. Towards the end of the dream some authority type figures came and where unhappy with what I was shooting. They felt I'd gotten too far off subject.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Norm's Basement

I dreamt that Bryna (my fiance) and I were in a basement apartment that was large and roomy, two kitchens suggesting it had been two apartments at one time. It wasn't our apartment but rather belonged to Norm.

Norm, in real life, is a guy I've only met once. A friend of mine cheated on her husband with Norm and I'm the only person she told. I'm not very comfortable with Norm.

The apartment was run down like it had been abandoned, with bricks out of place on an outside wall in one spot. Norm and the friend I know him through showed up. Norm showed me the funny letters from his roommate deriding him for leaving his porno out in public spaces. The public spaces being on top of the television and the porno being his collection of John Waters films. Norms room furnished with pastic sci-fi/fantasy furniture looking like something out of an alien movie only all shiny and plastic and mass produced looking. It was pretty lame.

In the dream I didn't care for Norm but I wanted to. He is a successfull artist and, though I'm disgusted with myself for it, I have a bad habit of being more forgiving of people who are successfull at making art, and making a living off of that art.

In the waking world I have no dislike of Norm, I've only ever spent about 60 seconds with him. The first impression wasn't much, but he had a-lot to live up to as I'd heard him described as the coolest thing that ever happened to humanity.