Show Stress

And here it is again, my show stress dream.

Putting on a show in a strange venue. The stage seems to be just a slightly raised square with audience to in front of and to the side.

This morphs and the scale gets bigger. Ben's onstage doing some kind of magic trick thing. The audience is leaving in droves. I think it's because they can't really see the close-up magic tricks he's doing. I rush to the stage and cut him off putting Amber on to close the show.

Afterward be is sobbing. he's really really upset. I try to comfort him.

Sniper

I go up top a big building, with a gun, and pop off a few shots. I don't think I hit anyone, just stirred the city up, got the beehive buzzin'.

I come back down and I walk around in the chaos I've inspired.

I head up another building. I pop off a few more shots from different corners of the rooftop.

I'm heading across town toward another building. I pass a kid. I don't feel guilty or anything but I decide I've had enough and I go home.

The rest of the dream I'm really stressed trying to imagine what evidence I've left behind that might lead the authorities to me. I realize they will keep investigating this for a long time and I'll have to live with this stress for the rest of my life, never knowing when Johnny law might come knocking.

Two More

Last night
In my apartment with Bryna but it's part my aparment and part the house I grew up in, there's even a room we refer to as John's room. I'm terrified that someone's in the house and I search each room with my fists up ready to defend myself. Bryna and I are going to take a shower together. I can't decide if we should shut the door and just enjoy our shower and try to forget my fears or leave it open so I can keep my ears open for anyone moving about.

Night before last.
Bryna sitting on backstep smoking. I get really mad. Bryna is crying because we're being evicted. I'm worried that we'll be out of the house and lose each other if we don't make up before the eviction goes through.