Bryna, me, thrills, addiction

Bryna and I are on vacation with Erick, my brother. We're looking at pamphlets to decide what to do. We decide we're not gonna do the 1,000 foot drop off a waterfall in a kayak. I think about it a-lot though. That'd be a LONG fall. Erick is my brother who has struggled the most with addiction, which become relevant in the context of the rest of the dream.

Later in the dream I'm at my friend Bill's house, but it might even be his parents house. It's very bright and sunny. Bill's telling me that if you fail at the first attempt to get clean sober you get addicted to the process of getting clean and then falling off again. That's where he is, and he's gettin' ready to dig the fall.

This jumps to me dreaming that I'm readying a syringe of heroin to shoot Bryna up durring sex.

Then I dream that Bryna fishes a cigarette out of her purse for her sister, referring to it a stripe? I ask her if she's been smoking again. She admits she has. I am sad at first and trying to be understanding but then I get mad. WHY! I yell. She says she was never that into quitting to begin with. I remind her that she was. She starts getting really mad at me and I try to back pedal, to be sympathetic but I'm really hurt.