Shittin' the bed and parachutin' strippers

Dreamt I shit the bed. Dreamt that I woke up to a round puddle of butt soup on my sheets. SO glad that one was a dream. Took awhile to calm down and accept that I did not in fact shit the bed.
Then when I fell back asleep I dreamt I was on a boat full of Veterans having some sort of meeting. It was SOOO boring so I walked out on to the dock and made a phone call. That's when I saw the girls in sexy matching patriotic type outfits falling from the skies. It was like they were parachuting the way they floated down, but I saw no parachutes. A few landed in the yucky dirty water around the boat and had to be helped in.
I went back inside. The old men Vets were now young men frat boy types. I had a seat and the dude next to me was getting a lap dance from a gorgeous girl. I would've liked some attention from her, but he was keeping her occupied. I looked around. The girls who were free were all unattractive, sort of out of proportion. The girl doing the lap dance accidentally brushed against me once in awhile and it was nice. I was hoping dude would run out of money so I could have some attention from this gorgeous woman. I saw other guys going into a back room with girls and I figured special favors of the illegal variety were happening back there. The girl dancing next to me kept saying no when the guy would ask for more than a dance. She wouldn't even strip off any clothes. This of course made her even more desirable. I woke up thinking about how nice it is just to have an attractive woman sit on your lap.