; Dreams

Just your basic dream journal. I will attempt to record all of my dreams here, no matter how mundane or humiliating they may be.
Keep in mind, I wake up and crawl to the computer and write these before coffee, tea or anything so yeah, they're a mess. Enjoy.

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Location: Sacramento, California, United States

Sea Monkey devotee since childhood.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Pretty Places

A bunch of us and we’re heading down a dock in some idyllic setting. It’s some sort of promotions gig and like many such gigs it’s mostly a lot of being loud and goofing off while being paid to where a certain t-shirt.

I ask someone somewhere about a debacle some friends are clearly involved with in which a big happening happened with a big clean up and nobody was paid. I receive and extra check with a note telling me that things are “going bad (it’s really sad)” and “I’m better not to ask too many questions.” My pal Michelle was somehow involved in the debacle.

Somewhere before or after this I’m in a different gorgeous place with rolling hills, the dock being replaced by a long road at the end of which is a shrine of some sort. I walk out to it and my brother John is there not in too good of shape, sore, achy. I participate in some lighting of a candle thing mostly just to hang out with John and there’s a dog there too I think. I can’t remember what John says to me, talkin’ about old times mostly I think.

Someplace in the middle here I also dreamt that I was watching the new King Kong (I haven't seen it in my real waking life). The islander/native types were definately black and I was watching for the racial overtones that are supposedly in the film. In the actually film I'm told they switched the black natives for Polynesians.

Friday, December 30, 2005


Vying for a parking space on a busy street, everyone else wants the spot. I'm driving a Volvo that I didn't steal, I just borrowed for a bit. The car sat in a lot meant to be used by employees of the company that owns it. I don't work for that company but I work for A company, and our companies would probably get along okay. They'd beat us at bowling but our employees would drink them under the table for sure.
I wouldn't have to park if Lydia was outside like she was supposed to be. The car's double parked and running as I run up to her apartment to tell her to hurry up.
Lydia says she'll be a minute.
I'm back to the car but it's miserable out and I'm late for work and I run back up to tell Lydia that I"m leaving with or without her. Her kitten gets out but I scare him back in and he's all fangs and claws and he wants to fight, not play, but fight, cause I'm a big scary giant as far as he's concerned and as cute as he is he actualy proves to be pretty threatening too and I keep a safe distance. A real safe distance as I wake up.
My stomach is still rotten. I'd rather be back there dealing with flakey Lydia and her mean ass cat.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Cunilingus Interuptus

I dreamt that my fiance and I were fresh out of the shower, in a spotlessly clean apartment, having some, um, fun.

Then I hear my moms voice, "Anybody home?"

I throw on pants and a t-shirt and stop my mom in the living room before she begins searching for us. "Um, we just had our showers mom. Bryna's still getting dressed."

That's a tease of a dream there.

The Dude Apartment

I live in a four plex with my fiance. Another couple lives below us and a couple lives next to us. The other downstairs apartment is occupied by a usually single female. I dreamt that she moved out. Skinner, the male half of the couple downstairs, and I rented her apartment. We'd still live with our girlfriends but we'd have a dude apartment where music would always blast, people could swing by anytime, video games and movies and music and crash pad furniture to sleep a dozen. Best of all, our cozy couple style apartment right next door. A dude apartment would actually be pretty cool.

Playing Bass

This is a recurring dream. I had it again a couple of days ago. I get invited to sit in with a friend's band at a really big show after their bass player is found to be unavailable. The problem is, I don't play bass. I jump around on stage and fake it but it's increasingly clear that I'm not pulling it off. I hit strings and pull strings but the guys in the band are trying to decide just how bad I am. Am I warming up or is this as good as it gets? The dream really stresses me out, the being in front of an audience unprepared part and I wake up before it goes anywher.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

No Ad

In the real world, my comedy troupe is doing a TV commercial for our latest show.
In the dream my day job boss is talking with a guy salesman from the cable company regarding television advertising. Somehow my boss utilizes information from the meeting, but decides not to do the ads. I feel bad for the sales man.

The dream shifts and I am telling my troupe that WE are not doing ads, that Evan, who is funding the show has changed his mind. I'm bummed about this and even angry.

When I wake up I'm relieved that we are indeed still getting television advertising. I'm pretty stressed about this show. Six weeks! That's a long run. If it's a failure, it will be a BIG failure. So, more anxiety dreams coming.

She fixed the snail

Dream: Bryna (my girlfriend) and I are driving and she wants me to stop so she can show me the snail she fixed but she asks too late and we've passed the snail.
We end up at some truck stop or restaraunt or something and I'm meeting with someone. I'm always meeting with someone.
So I meet with long haired guy with a defeated look about him in the men's room only I walk into the woman's room at first on accident. Once we get to the men's room his wife is in there with us. She has a bit of a goatee showing and looks unattractive in the skimpy belly revealing outfit she's wearing. I guess the meeting ends because I'm suddenly in a big empty room with Bryna and she's showing me the snail. It looks like a normal snail. I shake it and you can hear a suction sound that says the snail would come right out of it's shell if I shook harder. Bryna found it out of it's shell, and put it back. She's the greatest.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Bad dream

I'm losing this one quick. I was somewhere doing something and someone suggested we go by the Burning man office. The office was a combination of the real Burning man office/museum in Nevada and The Gallery Horse Cow. Bryna was there shaking off the effects of a crazy party the night before. I teased her about rumors hat she'd gotten drunk enough for a local woman known for kissing drunk folks to get some kissers on her. I asked her, jokingly who else she kissed and she answered Sean's brother, and Sean. Sean is a guy who my last girlfriend split to Europe with, like 15 years ago. Jesus man, how long does one carry around such baggage?

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Nike Burka

I had a nice sex dream last night. I won't give the details here for the sake of my own modesty, but I will tell you there was nothing particularly symolic, no midgets making me waffles while I had sex with your mom or anything like that.

I think Freud said hat if you dream about having sex it may actually mean that in real life you enjoy having sex.

I woke up, and fell back asleep and had a quick strange dream that the U.S. were supplying the Muslim world with Burkas emblazened with the Nike symbol. The Muslim women were of course refusing to wear them. I guess my disgust with American corporate values goes all the way to my subconcious. Wow, that's a strange little dream there.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Cat Pooped

My buddy Patrick has crazy vivid dreams of a surreal nature when he eats a pint of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream before bed. I ate a pint of soy ice cream before bed. So what did this Soy alternative get me?

We're baby sitting a cat (in real life.) I dreamt that the cat was successfully using his litter box.

Man, being vegan sucks sometimes.

Friday, December 09, 2005


Yay. Haven't had a zombie dream in a while, until last night.
In the dream: I am in a house, and their is a zombie outbreak going on. We've locked the doors. Who is in the house with me changes. At first it's my mom and my kid brother. He puts on loud music with lots of base and I explain to him that we need to be quiet and to listen to what's going on around us. Then the dream changes and Bryna and I are in the house. Things are amazingly calm. We put on the tv and the news folks tell us how to dispose of the dead using a hilairious diagram of green zombies with x's for eyes. A freind pulls a school bus onto our front yard, and we let him in. The bus if full of supplies. We turn away some folks that are knocking at our door, after pretending we're not home only encourages them to start breaking in. They seem offended that we won't let them in.
Eventually we go out, shopping. The stores are open. After all it's only zombie holocaust, it aint Christmas. I prepare to go to school (my age seems to keep changing) and I'm talking to my mom on my cell phone. She's telling me to be carefull at school and not to use expressions like "Bite me" cause someone might.
I wake up.
No zombies, no violence, the strangest zombie holocaust dream ever.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Performance anxiety

ICBINC, my comedy troupe, has a six week run coming up. It's a pretty big deal. We're advertising on television and everything. Oooooh, the tv gods must smile upon us. So anyway, my first performance anxiety of this run (I have many such dreams with each show.)

In The Dream: We're in Seattle. Everyone's having a great time. We're all sleeping in sleeping bags on someone's floor, as we do in real life when we go to LA. We're going to see the sights, visit friends, etc. I'm just following along, in a daze. In the bag of my head is the fact that we haven't even seen the stage we're performing on, I don't know who is doing lights, we're not that well rehearsed. But, I supress these thoughts and just zone out. I wake up glad that there is rehearsal today.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Vague and strange

We can't wake up this kid. The process though is accidentally magical. We've created a pin head who dances about the room. We try some more to wake the kid and again an accident. We accidentally bring Hitler back from the dead. Not all the way back. He's putrid, rotting zombie Hitler.

What the hell did I eat before bed?

Sex Toys

Bryna and I move into a huge new place. I am trepadacious about it though I'm not sure why.

Our land lord at the new place is Merle, our current landlord in our awake life. Merled comes to help me move furniture around. As we lift a bed there's a large plastic vibrator, with the top missing, being used as a pen and pencil cup.

I grab two more vibrators, intact, from various unhidden places. Merle and I walk to the garden and as I reach to grab the vibrator planted there he sees the two that I've already collected from inside. I'm embarassed.

"Well, I guess you know us better than a landlord should eh?"

"Don't worry about it. The things I've seen, this is nothing."

I wake up.

Posing Naked

In The Dream: I'm in a chines restaraunt, open for business but not busy. An artist/photographer is using me and two friends (one male, one female) as models. We strip and are posed in the kitchen in a ballet-like pose. I'm on the ground and the female friend is right above me. I am holding a dime, a large dime. This somehow makes it art and okay to be posing with a plutonic friend in such a fashion. I get an erection and the posing has her brushing against it several times. I feign embarassment. Chinese waiters and cooks mill about us. I wake up.

In the waking world: Neither of the males (photographer/artist or model) were anyone I know in the real world. The female is actually a good friend and to avoid embarassment for either of us, I'll keep the secret of who it was.

Applying for Gigolo Work

In the dream: I visited a small, nondescript building. Inside was a lush setting, nice rugs, drapes, all dark and relaxing. An older woman in a modest version of a roaring twenties dress with a cigarette holder asks me what I'm doing there.

I look around. Two men in matching dresses and two young handsome men in matching suits are giving their full attention to various women, catering to their every need. The women are older professional looking women and I realize I'm in a brothel catering to women. I don't need much time to think. I tell the Madame that I'd like a job. She looks me over and tells me when to come back and apply.

I talk with Bryna and explain the line of work I wish to enter. I tell her that my guess is it will rarely involve actual sex and will mostly be giving the woman attention, foot rubs, and the like. She's fine with it. Dream Bryna is usually fine with it.

I go back and I see one boy in a dress talking to an Asian woman on the couch nearest me. He pushes her away whenever she gets close.

The Madame and I talk. She's the perfect older woman type and I'm hoping to be auditioned in some fashion. She asks me about the girl that her male assistant has seen me around town with and I realize I've been being watched. I wonder about the clothing and the hair styling and all the other ways that they'll make me look like these cookie cutter pretty boys all around me. I wake up.

In the waking world: This one really stays with me. The texture and feel of it haunt my day and I actually miss the comfortable cozy environment of the brothel as if its somewhere I've really been. Even more I miss the Madame.

Notebook Face

In real life, I'm sleeping in a strange bed in a strange apartment. It's my brother James' place, so it's not that strange, but it's in the vast suburban expanse of Temecula (sp?) so it's pretty strange after all.

In the dream: I may be on a boat or a nice hotel. There's a guy with black pants and a red shirt that I for some reason want to impress. He's someone who can do something for me career wise. There are many people milling about. It's some kind of party or dance. I only get to say hello to red shirt guy briefly.

I'm sleeping on the floor in a strange room, still on the boat or in the hotel. Antonio, my nephew is also on the floor, sleeping by the door. My sweetheart, Bryna, is in the bed. It sounds as if Antonio is messing with the door and I tell him to knock it off. I notice the door is open a crack, and realize that Antonio would never have reached the doorknob from the floor.

The door swings open and a guy in black pants and a red shirt, though not the guy I was hoping to impress, is standing there looking in. It's creepy how he just stands there. He doesn't come in, leave, say anything, he just stands there. Antonio is between him and I closer to him.

I rise to my feet but I have trouble doing so. I feel drugged, as I did after having a colonoscopy. I try to yell and I'm unable to get and clarity or volume. I wake up.

I drift back to sleep pretty quickly, and the guy is still there only now I'm standing close to him face to face, only he doesn't have a face, or a head. He has a note pad, spiral, top-bound, instead. On the note books are printed words expressing what he has to say. He tears off the front page when I'm done reading as he has more to say on the next page.

Damn me that I don't recall what was written on the pad.

Neighbors break up

In the dream: My neighbors, a really great couple, break up.
I go over to console her, she has kept the apartment, he's moved out. I take a shower with her. Like my last shower dream there's a window with a beautiful view. Odd as I, in my waking life, am so modest that I cover windows in bathrooms. There is no sex in the dream but the feeling is that it happened.

I'm back in my apartment and he comes back. They reconcile, or start to. He is the coolest guy in the world, and he doesn't come straight over and punch me in the face. He is just snide, and looks at me with disgust. I feel like an opportunistic, horn-dog, ass.